


Ghosts of Partner's Past

by Attorney C (arh581958)



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Christmas!fic, Denial!Harvey, Harvey Specter's Family, Harvey learns to Love, Harvey-centric, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, M/M, Oblivious!Harvey, marvey, pining!Mike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:03:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5321495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arh581958/pseuds/Attorney%20C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Jessica gone, Harvey Specter is the only name on the firm's wall. He's got it all--power, money, and fame. He's living his dream and on the top of his game. However, he has yet to realize that he's missing the greatest gift of all this Christmas---love. </p><p>(Or: The story of how Harvey remembers, relives, and realizes what he's been missing this whole time, and that just might be Mike Ross. As told through the stories of Christmases past, present, and future.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> Last month (I think) on [tumblr](http://arh581958.tumblr.com/) an anon sent me this prompt: Christmas fic based on A Christmas Carol--Marvey--With Harvey in the "scrooge type" role. Jessica the deceased Partner that warns of the three spirits visit. And Spector is the only name currently on the wall. 
> 
> I've decided to fill-in the prompt in time for Christmas~ So yes. Merry Christmas everyone! It's December 1 and that means that there's only twenty-four days until Christmas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. I made cover art~ Hihi!

***

It was nearly eleven o'clock in the evening on the 24th of December. Most ordinary people, meaning those that were _not_ the sole surviving partner in Pearson-Specter, would be home by now; curled near up someplace warm, cocoa in hand, listening to cheerful Christmas melody over Spotify. But not Harvey, and, whoever it was that Harvey was currently fucking, mainly Mike.

The pair was still in the office. Harvey had just heard of Jessica's passing a week prior and needed, desperately, to finish up the dissolution papers _before_ the two-week stalemate which was known as Christmas-to-New Year holidays. No, he needed to get these done and passed by tomorrow so that he can spend those two weeks in the lap of whichever gorgeous woman he's chosen to take home for the night, preferable someone with long blonde-hair and tits like a _Bay Watch_ Babe.

All of that, is of course, _after_ he finishes pounding into Mike so hard that the boy would be limping for the _entire_ two weeks, unable to sit down straight without _feeling_ Harvey's shape in his ass.

"Ha--ha--Harvey!" Mike moaned wantonly, throwing back his head in ecstasy every time Harvey got deep enough to hit that _spot_ inside which made his vision explode in stars. He gripped the back of Harvey's neck as leverage to lift himself upward. He was half-sitting and half-sprawled on Harvey's desk, brazen and bare to see in all his naked glory. His clothes were a forgotten heap near the record shelves where Harvey had first taken him. It was the---he had lost count how many times they've done it tonight. He was getting sore but Harvey was relentless.

"Harvey, _please_ " He cried out in desperation because it _wasn't enough_. The angle was bad and not remotely deep enough to reach his prostate consistently. His upper hamstrings flexed in an attempt to grip Harvey's sides, his thighs ached with the strain because Harvey wasn't holding him up; the man's hands were planted firms on the table on either side of Mike's hops. Mike scrambled for purchase, toes curling when he crossed his ankles on the small of Harvey's back but they kept slipping, sweat-damp skin sliding down to Harvey's ass every time the man thrust into him again, and again, and again.

Mike fell back because his arms had already turned to jelly. He laid down, sweaty back fogging up the lacquered wooden surface. He arched his back and moaned continuously like a top-grade pornstar. He knows what his voice does to Harvey. It drives the brunette insane with lust. He raised his hand and openly displayed the facets of his body; he knew that Harvey liked to watch so he put on a show. He arched his spine again, this time all the way up to his neck, throwing his head back until he could see the shelves on the other end of the room.

"Please, Harvey" He begged when he came back. Harvey's eyes were blown wide with desire and _hunger_. He could feel the way Harvey's thrusts bordered into erratic while the man so fiercely clung to the last ounces of control. Sweat beaded and poured from Harvey's brown and dripped on Mike's already glistening pale skin. It glided down to Mike's stomach then to his groin where it was stopped by a dark burgundy coloured-tie that elegantly wrapped Mike's hard leaking cock in a perfect bow. Mike also wanted to come but Harvey never let him peak when they were together. Reciprocal pleasure was-- _too intimate_ , the older man has said before.

" _Fuck_ " He heard Harvey shudder. Mike could see the way Harvey's entire body physically shook. He pushed up. He grabbed onto the edge of the table behind him and began pushing back on Harvey's thrust as best he could when there was barely any feeling left in his arms.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, _Mike_ " the way Harvey says his name makes something bubble up inside Mike, but then again the feeling is not mutual. "you feel so damn good around my cock. Still so tight like virgin cunt. Fuck, you're squeezing me so---" Harvey doesn't finish his sentence because his mouth is open wide in a soundless scream when he reached his orgasm. He rode the rest of the aftershocks lazily moving inside Mike's ass. He took pleasure in the way the ring of tired muscles fluttered around him like butter. Until finally he slipped from Mike's body with a trail of cum following his way out. He thumbed at the sensitive flesh and watched the sphincter throbbed a few times before closing.

Without warning, he shoved two fingers in and revelled the way it squelched around his fingers. Mike let out a gasp in surprise as Harvey continued with his ministrations. He opened up Mike by prying apart his two fingers to see inside. It was white and red and puffy. The younger man squirmed underneath his touch but not pulling away. He used his free hand and tenderly caressed the thigh still wrapped around his waist. If Mike was like this, pliant and relaxed, he would easily slip in more fingers with his free hand. Mike was beautiful like this, laid out and fucked out, like he could stay here for the rest of his life.

That thought scared Harvey shitless. So he pulled out so quickly that Mike flinched. He stepped back which forced Mike's legs to untangle from their perch. He fell back when the inside of his knees hit the chair and collapsed on it with an undignified 'ompf'. Mike was still basking in the afterglow of sex, still hard but looking spent just the same. Mike's cock was still and angry red not having wilted despite Harvey's animalistic pace. It was one of the things he appreciated about having a younger man for a fuck-partner; he could always keep up with Harvey's sec drive, he was enthusiastic even. In the dimness of the lamplight, he eyed the white trickling down Mike's crack.

"Get up. Get dressed." Harvey barked out, sounding rougher than he meant because his voice was gruff. He watched as Mike tenderly straightened up, wincing when he finally slid onto the carpet with his bare feet.  He did not say a word.

Mike's cocked bobbed in front of him. He has the deer-in-headlight expression on his face again. He limped to the other side of the room and dressed in silence, never once looking at Harvey's direction. Harvey kept watching him. Mike pulled up his boxers, then his trousers, then started putting on his shirt. It was a wreck without the top three buttons that were currently lying somewhere in this room. Then Harvey noticed the lack of a tie. He lowered his gaze and, true enough, the bulge was still present.

"You're going home like _that_?" Again, Harvey did not mean to sound rude. He was surprised and a little more turned on, again, at the thought of Mike biking all the way back to his apartment with a hard-on. His dick even gave a valiant effort to twitch against his thigh but he was not that young anymore so twitch was all it did. With all the sex they've had tonight, and all the cum he'd pumped into Mike, it would be a good hour before he can get it up again. It's nearly midnight and he doesn't want to bother waiting. He'll go home and pick-up some girl tomorrow if necessary.

"It'll go away" Mike mumbled as he took his messenger bag from the couch. He was slow, and limping, when he went to the door. It was hesitant but Harvey did not want to look into it. Instead, he merely raised an eyebrow. Mike held onto the glass wall for support then re-adjusted his bag over his shoulders. "Are you going to visit Marcus' or Sophie's family tomorrow?" he asked with a tentative voice that sounded absolutely wrecked from all his vocalization exercises a few minutes ago.

"No" Harvey answered. For a moment, there was something that sparkled in Mike's eyes.

"Then do you---"

"---I booked a suite at the new Hoyt-Walsh merger hotel for the week. I'll be there until the Jan first."

Mike's face completely shuts down when Harvey was done talking. His shoulder were hunched and he refrains from meeting Harvey's eyes. His voice when he spoke was a tad bit shaky. "O--okay. Erhm, Merry Christmas then, Harvey. I'll see you in a few days" and like that, he was gone from Harvey's sight and into the safety of the darkened Pearson-Specter Hallway. Harvey closed his eyes and groaned. He had not meant to lie to the kid. Mike just _too_ hopeful that Harvey would give him something but Harvey wouldn't. It was not technically a lie, Keith gave him that suite was a present for a job well done for the merger. He thought that it was the perfect time to cash it in since spending Christmas in a hotel was less lonely then spending Christmas at home.

"Harvey" Jessica's voice chided him with a disapproving tone. "Tuck yourself in. For Christ's sake, Harvey, you're in the office."

Great, he thought to himself, now he was hallucinating. Maybe it's about time that he _should_ head home and packing for the hotel because he was beginning to hear dead people's voices complaining about his lack of decorum in _his_ office inside _his_ firm. Even in death, Jessica simply would not leave him the _fuck_ alone. He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. This sucked if he couldn't even _fuck_ in his own firm without someone chastising him.

"HARVEY!" His briefcase fell on his table with a loud crack. His eyes snapped open and he paled. There was definitely no way he would be up for another round until tomorrow because his mind was playing tricks on him. Jessica Pearson, recently deceased name partner of Pearson-Specter, was staring at him with a surly expression on her face. Her arms were crossed over her chest like she was reprimanding a child, which was funny because she never had children or a husband who lasted long enough that she could make some with. She died a lonely divorcee and all her wealthy given away to her brother and sisters whom she never saw with nephews and nieces she never new.

"Get your sorry ass dick back in your pants before _I_ have to put my cold dead hands on it and put it back myself." She demanded with the same commanding voice she used over the Senior Partners before she died. "Now!" she snapped and her eyes showed a glint of red. Harvey scampered to the task and hid himself away from her piercing dead glare that was only slightly scarier than the ones she had often used on him when she was alive. "What the HELL are you thinking desecrating the office?!" she yelled and slammed hard on the desk. It jolted from the force and Harvey jumped from his chair.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Harvey shot back on instinct because he'd been fighting against Jessica's parenting all his adult life in this firm and old habits were hard to break. It also hid the fact that he was freaking out internally while having a screaming match with his _supposedly_ -dead former boss and mentor. He must be going out of his mind. "Aren't you supposed to be _dead_? crossed-over? enjoying the afterlife? What are you doing _here_?" he stressed.

"You god _damn_ sonavabith." She spat, literally and figuratively at his face. "I haven't been dead fourteen days and you're prancing around the halls like you own the place. This firms _isn't_ just about you, Harvey. It's about the people who work here---about _that_ boy with so much potential that he might one day overtake you and _you_ just _fucked_ over your desk like a another one of your cheap-ass common whores."

"You haven't even answered my question, Jessica." He challenged. "What.are.you.doing. _here_?"

Jessica gave him a bored expression and rolled her eyes. She appeared, in every way, exactly like that _last_ time he saw her _before_ her plane crashed. Her clothes were still as stylish and sharp. The only difference was not she was slightly less material than before--translucent was the word Harvey was looking for. He studied her and she studied him back, accessing, then she frowned even deeper and shook her head. She let out a heavy sigh.

"I was so hopeful for you, Harvey." She spoke but sounded distant. "I saw a _me_ in you but I wanted--hoped--that you would turn out better than I _did._ "

Harvey scoffed because he did. He had more clients, higher billables, and a shit ton more money than Jessica did when she died. Her monetary saving and other assets were depleted over her multiple divorces. It nearly left her penniless if it weren't for the firm's compensation as Managing Partner.

She shook her head and looked sadly at him. "That's not what I meant, Harvey. All those things, I can see you boasting about in your head, they don't matter. Not here, not when you're dead. I had long given up on you _becoming_ me but you did. This... this shouldn't be the path for you. You still have a chance, Harvey. I died alone and unloved. I don't want the same for you."

Harvey sneered. "Oh. I've been loving, all right." he said cockily and pointed to the various handprints that Mike had left on the shiny surfaces---on the table, on the walls, on the windows, fogged up surfaces of varying part of Mike's body prints littered the spaces.

Jessica appeared dejected at his reply. "Not like that." She commented quietly. "He's a good kid, Harvey. You shouldn't treat him like another second-class booty call." Then she flicked her hand, seemingly giving up. "This won't work. I won't work." she muttered under her breath. "Three days, Harvey. For three days, you'll be visited by three very different spirits. Look, I know you aren't religious but you're speaking to me so bear with it. Three days, you listen to what they have to say that's all you have to do. That's all I'm asking."

"Why? Why _should_ I?"

Once more she shook her head. "Because if you don't, you'll end up like me." She told him. She opened her arms and for the first time, Harvey saw the various chains wrapped around her limbs--legs, arms, and neck--which dug onto her skin like with serrated edges. "These are _my_ chains, Harvey: greed, ambition, endlessly wanting to propel myself further and further up without caring for those around me... without learning how to love. Heed my warning, Harvey, three days and you better god _damn_ listen!"

In snap, she was gone.

Harvey blinked and felt groggy. He surveyed the area but no one was there. It must have been a dream. He must have dozed off right after Mike had left. There was no way Jessica's apparition just reprimanded him for having sex in the middle of the night. He groaned then pushed himself to stand up. He grabbed his briefcase off the table and headed to the elevator. But before he did, he had to step back, because the last time he check his briefcase was thrown over the arm of the couch during the first round with Mike. He shook his head again. No, he was just tired. He needed to get back home.

 


	2. Christmas Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments~

Harvey tried never to be ordinary. After a stellar baseball career in high school, he went on to graduate with from university with a full-paid scholarship. He landed his first job at Gordon Schmitt Van Dyke then after impressing one of the new Senior Partners, the said Senior Partner eventually made managing _and_ name partner, bringing Harvey along with her. That person was Jessica Pearson. In less than ten years, he made name partner for himself because waiting anymore just sounded _boring_. Now, it was _his_ name on the wall and no one else's. He intends to keep it that way as long as he possibly can.

He got home just after midnight. His apartment was empty, as dull and dreary as he left it this morning. It looked like it came straight for an interior design magazine catalogue with every single piece of furniture professionally canvassed and purchased. It was devoid of any personal effects because he always thought that they cluttered up the space. Instead, he bought a few selected pieces of art which were the only thing _personal_ about his apartment. He liked it that way. There was nothing for his one-night conquests to ask about or linger on when he kicked them out the following morning.

He changed and went to bed. Like the living room, it shared the same white and black motif. There was a classic double-belled alarm clock on the side of the table. He made sure he has the best of everything too. His sheets were Egyptian Cotton with a 4-digit thread count. It was so soft that he practically drowned in its lushness every time he slept. He could melt into it with its softness. He swam in its cloud-like texture and relished the stillness of his life for a good eight hours.

"Harvey"

He groaned because it was too _damn_ early to wake up. There wasn't even a glimmer of sunlight yet! He shuffled on the bed, twisting to his side _away_ from the noise which tried to wake him. He was having a nice dreamless sleep without thoughts of god-forsaken skinny ties over cheap-ass department store ready-to-wear.

 "Harvey!" the voice called again.

This time, Harvey blinked his eyes warily. He rolled onto his back with a light groan. There were not many people who were stupid enough to rouse him from sleep, in part because he dare not deign himself to be surrounded by imbeciles, and because his apartment was virtually impenetrable with a top grade security system. It was a penthouse suite in a luxury condo building after all. He opened his eyes and was ready to scream the little shit into self-defecating before sending the sorry piece of ass into next year. He braced his jaw for his impending outburst as his eyes focused on---

"Daniel...?" he said, less fiercely than he intended but he was half-asleep and confused. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he yelled at full volume when he finally found his voice. "How the hell did you get into my condo?! What the flying fuck? How did you get past the guards?" He gritted his teeth and flung the covers off himself. "I swear to go those idiots are going to get sued for their entire worth if they even keep a stumpy man like you from coming up. _Especially_ since you have _no_ business here!"

Daniel Hardman, Jessica's former name partner _before_ they manipulated a coup for Pearson-Hardman, stood at the side of his bed, impassive.

"Are you finished... Harvey?"

It was then, and only then, when Harvey stopped utterly jibberish long enough to compose himself that he noticed---Daniel was not entirely, well, visible. The older man was more translucent than anything else, or at least his feet were not really _there_. He looked like he was floating. Admit it or not, it scared Harvey shitless, so much so, that he scrambled back onto the bed and reverse crab-crawled all the way to the other side. He paled at the sight of the ex-name partner, who last he heard, was supposedly still alive and well in retirement at his country mansion.

"Why... what _are_ you?"

"I'm the Spirit of Christmas Past" Daniel--not Daniel--said blankly. "I'm sure you've been warned by... Jessica, I think that was her name, frightening woman despite being dead." He paused and if translucent non-human beings can look smug that's what he looked like at the moment. "From the looks of it, you didn't believe her. Oh, oh, oh, what a pity. Why do we bother sending pre-visions when no one ever bothers to _listen_ to them? I supposed you remember the forewarning, am I correct? You're a lawyer after all."

"Answer the question" Harvey demanded as steadily as he could with his heart beating a hundred times and minute. He fought hard to school his expression into a tough one. "What.the.fuck. _are_.you?"

"Oh jesus" Not Daniel made a resigned sound. "I am the Spirit of Christmas Past. I'm the first of three spirits that will visit you. Really, didn't you listen anything to what Jamina said?"

"Jessica" Harvey corrected.

Not Daniel waved his hand dismissively. "Whatever. You don't bothering remembering her foretelling then there's no bothering even remembering the correct name. You _mortals_ are so... mundane." He took a seat on an invisible chair and appeared to Harvey as if Daniel Hardman was floating in mid-air with a clichéd pipe of tobacco in hand.

"You're wife died of lung cancer." Harvey pointed out, getting less and less bothered by the whole paranormal experience. He straightened up and narrowed his eyes as the ghostly being because even in his head he would not admit that it was _another_ ghost in front of him. "You aren't really Daniel Hardman, are you?"

"Perfect! You're learning." The thing made a jolly nod. "That's right. I'm not whoever think I am. Like I said, idiot, I'm the Spirit of Christmas Past. How many times do I have to tell you? You do realize that you're wasting my valuable time, right?" Then he threw his head back and laughed. "That's funny because I represent the past, time is always lost to me! Hahaha!"

Harvey was not amused. He crossed his arms and questioned further. "Why am I seeing D---who I'm seeing? Who am I supposed to see?"

"Oh that's simple" Not Daniel explained. "I'm supposed to be someone that you never want to be, someone from your past who's cut you so deeply that I've altered your perspective on things."

"That... makes sense" Harvey agreed after a moment's hesitation. While Daniel Hardman did not even make it to the top ten of Harvey's most despised people list, being able to work side by side with the man for the first half of his career made Harvey realize that Daniel was _not_ a good role model. In lighter times he might have joked about Louis being the person he never wants to be but deep down he knew that he did not want to end up like Daniel. Daniel who lost not only his job but also his integrity when he decided to embezzle firm money into his private accounts to spend on his mistress while his wife was _dying_. Even Harvey wouldn't go that far.

"You know..." Not Daniel broke through his train of thought. "Your place doesn't feel like _you_. It doesn't feel like anything to be honest. Like an empty shell of a man peacocking for all his worth but without an ounce of a soul left with in him." He stood up and walked to where Harvey was, passing _through_ the bed like it wasn't there. "No, that's a lie. If you didn't have a soul, we would have been bothered to come for you at all." He puts a eerie hand on Harvey's chest and pushed.

Harvey fell back, mouth open wide with a silent scream, and he kept on falling, and falling, and falling into a vast realm of darkness.

He heard his own voice shouting in the distance.

It was deafening.

When Harvey opened his eyes again, a faint yellow-orange glow caught his attention. It was streaming from---the end of the corridor? He stared at the ceiling, arms wide open and body limp like a starfish. His back was on something hard like wood that creaked when he tried to move. It was an old house, an old place, and old memory. Little by little, bits and pieces came back to him until--

"This is my house" he said to no one in particular. He gazed up at the pictures which he knew were mounted on the walls with nails and string. They were still there, polished like how he remembered and in odd mismatched frames that never quite looked good together but his parents never changed. This was his old family home where he grew up as a boy. It was all the same--the sights, the smell, the noise--it all jogged his memories and stirred up something inside him that he tried to bury a long, long time ago. This shouldn't be happening to him. This was too crazy!

"D-- _fuck_ \--Daniel, Christmas, Past, or whatever the fuck I can call you!" He said in a loud voice. He gripped the all too familiar guard rails on the staircase for balance. He stood in awe at the vision before him. Everything was exactly the same like he was reliving a memory from his childhood. He remembered this Christmas. It was one of the best, if not _the best_ , Christmas he spent as a kid. It was much simpler times when happiness could be defined as having his family complete for the holidays _without_ having his annoying relatives coming over and his even more annoying cousins destroy his things.

"Daniel! Daniel!" He grumbled aloud. "Come on, I know you're fucking here! Where the hell are you?!"

 "Is shouting the _only_ kind of conversation you know?" Daniel--or whoever he was--complained as he appeared through the wall. "I was enjoying myself with the entertainment, you know... before you went all happy-go-shouty on me. You'll disturb Christmas!" Then he looked faintly conflicted. "Okay, Christmas _eve_ if you're gonna lawyer me up on semantics."

"Where... _when_ am I, exactly?"

Daniel the thing appeared contemplative. "That depends on which _you_ , you are talking about." He said plainly. "Big you is here, sulking like a big baby in the hallway... but little you is, well, you can remember where you're supposed to be at this age, right? Why don't you go find out yourself if you can still remember it all properly?"

Of course, he remembered. He was thirty-eight not seventy-five.

Harvey padded into the living room where he knew he would find all five of them camped out in front of the tree. Something caught on his throat at the sight. Gordon and Lily Specter were idly sipping hot chocolate from the couch, curving onto each other in their own little bubble while they shared whispered between them. He and his siblings were eagerly waiting for midnight so they can open their first presents of Christmas. They were all dressed in mismatched pyjamas and weird Christmas sweaters looking for all the world like Santa's little elves. Their parents called them 'Santa's little workers' whenever they helped out with chores this time of the year.

He was seven when this happened. Marcus was five. Sophia was three. He often wondered how they were so perfectly spaced. He saw now something that he failed to see before because he was too focused on counting down at the clock neared midnight. It felt like he was seeing everything for the very first time, and perhaps he was--as an outsider, as a stranger to his own memory but somehow he cannot find the fault or the sadness in that for the scene before him was of a picture perfect middle-class family in their cosy humble living room all awaiting Christmas day.

A single word resounded in his mind: family.

When had he last spent a Christmas _at home_ and not some swanky hotel room with a soon-to-be forgotten stranger? He cannot remember. He cannot recall. May be he's forgotten what it felt like to be surrounded by this strange warm feeling. It coursed through him in bitter contrast to the recent Christmas experiences. There was a near ethereal glow that surrounded them.

Marcus had been first to spot the clock strike twelve. He bounced up with boyish glee, making a beeline for his most awaited present. On his way there, he accidentally knocked down Sophia who fell onto the carpet and immediately began tearing up. Harvey, who has witnessed the exchanged, rushed to his sister's side to coo her wails. He gathered her up in his arms and said silly things to make her smile. When she finally calmed down, she called him by his given name for the very first time.

Lily and Gordon gathered with their kids in front of the fire. They all opened a single present each. Marcus received his first robot action figure with movable limbs and joins. Sophia got a rather large horse princess plush toy. Lily had a new floral dress from an upscale boutique in town that she's been eyeing for some time. Gordon's was a large poster of himself in the original print that was _ancient_ and very, very hard to find. Harvey---he got his first real baseball glove and practice ball that was obnoxiously neon yellow.

"Do you remember what made this your best Christmas?" quipped the apparition. He stood, or floated, beside Harvey while they watched the scene.

Harvey didn't want to answer.

But the insufferable not-Daniel was persistent. "No, it's not that abhorrent thing that you call a baseball. Ulegh. It's U-G-L-Y, it ain't got no alibi. I highly doubt that _thing_ " he sounded like the mere thought of the neon yellow ball would make him puke. "...is why this Christmas was memorable for you. Don't you think, Harvey? What _did_ make this particular Christmas memorable?" Gone was the snide remarks and taunting tone. It was just a simple question.

"I---It was my sister." Harvey eventually replied. His gaze would not retch itself away from the scene before him. They all looked so happy and so perfect. "She---she called my name. _Habey_ " he recalled fondly "It's not really my name but the thought was there. She called me _Habey_ for the first time. She never called me anything substantial before tonight. Just nonsensical things that didn't make sense. No matter how hard Marcus or I tried. She would not go beyond _Ma_ or _Pa_. But she called my name."

"Oh? And how is your sister now, Harvey?"

"She's in Memphis... Tennessee with her husband and children." He knew that. Sophie and Keith had two children: an older son and a younger daughter. They spent Christmas with Keith's parents' home but normally stayed in California for the rest year. Sophie was a nurse and Keith was a paramedic. That's where they met. Their children were darling little things. Matthew and Emma were top of both their classes despite the former being a little trouble maker.

"Are you sure?"

The question took Harvey aback."What?"

"Why don't we go see for ourselves? Hmmm?"

It sounded an awfully lot like a challenge. Harvey found himself being hurled into another void. Everything around him merged and faded until a completely new scene was presented to him. It was a hospital from the looks of it---nurses in white and halls filled with gaudy Christmas decorations that tried to brighten up the dreary cream walls. But none of it could mask the smell of antiseptic and bleach that permeated the air. It made him want to choke.

"Is Sophie...?"

"Your sister?" the ghost supplied. "Check for yourself. She's in room 1207."

 " _Matt, Em, be careful. Don't wake your mother..._ " Keith's voice floated to the hallway. "... _or Regie. We just got him to sleep. Off to bed, both of you or I'm buying you tickets to Memphis tomorrow. You can spend the holidays with grampa and grandma._ "

There was a whine that Harvey instinctively knew was his niece and nephew. He made his way to the room and touched the door but his hand simply passed through. The shock was more than enough to freeze him in place.

"They can't hear you nor can they see you." Not Daniel chastised. "Like this" the man instructed before morphing through the door like it was nothing but water. Harvey followed.

The sight took his breath away---Sophie was lying down on the bed fast asleep, her children curled around her, huddling to her sides, careful no to jostle her. She was in a thin hospital gown looking pale but _glowing_ in her slumber. Keith was standing to the side while he murmured sweet nothings to the small bundle in his arms. The rest of them were wearing handmade Christmas sweaters that must have been from Keith's southern parents. Softly playing Christmas music was echoing from the phone which lay face-flat on the bedside table. It was a sweet Christmas melody from an orchestra. It was---nice. Nothing else in the room screamed _personal_ but it felt like Harvey was back home.

"She never told me... about the baby." He said more to himself than anyone else.

"You mean little Regie?" asked the thing beside him. "Now, Harvey, don't tell me she didn't tell you. Think back to how many phone calls from your family you're managed to avoid... intentionally and unintentionally, hmmm?"

He was right.

Harvey knew, whatever it was, was right. With everything on the line, as name partner to the firm, there was a hell of a lot more case load, client meetings, trials, and other things that were occupying his mind. So many things that were coming into fruition, too soon and too fast; he could barely catch up to the work that being a name partner entailed. He just _didn't have the time to answer_ any personal phone calls while at work... not when one thing or another calling for his attention. It was a poor excuse but that was the only excuse he had.

"She named him after you, you know?"

The realization hit him like a freight train.

"She what?"

"She did" the apparition confirmed. "Meet Reginald Summerfield... sound a little pompous for a little thing like him, don't you think? ... well, I think he might just get the pompousness from his uncle! Haha.. you know that's funny because you're his uncle and I just made a joke about you---"

"Shut up" Harvey bit out, harsher than he intended. It hurt that he missed _this_ when he was there for Matt and Em's births. He hadn't even known that his sister was pregnant, let alone that she labour was on Christmas day itself. Regie Summerfield was a small miracle in himself.

"No" Harvey vehemently denied and buried his face in his hands."No, no, no. This isn't true. I would have known. I---" he lifted his head to see the sadistic little floating bastard _smirking_ at him like it just one the lottery. "You!" he accused, lifting a finger and closing the space between them. This time, he was able to make contact with the cold unrelenting shoulder. He froze in shock. Apparitions weren't supposed to be touched, right? Right?!

"Take me home! Take me home now. This isn't real. None of this is real. None of this! This is a dream! A dream!" He shouted over and over and over again until his world turned black and he could see nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that Mike wasn't in this chapter. He'll be back for the rest~ 
> 
> Hopefully this Christmas season will make ya'll more generous! Drop a comment or a kudos if you like the story~


	3. Christmas Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey must come to terms with some hard truths about himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Mike's back!

"... A DREAM!" Harvey burst out, screaming at the top of his lungs. He was dripping with cold sweat that clung to his skin, his clothes, and his sheets. His hair was stuck-up like a bird's nest on his head and fluttered along with his heavy breathing. He couldn't focus his eyes because everything was blurry and irrelevant. But he knew that he was back in his room in his penthouse. He felt like he just ran a marathon and not at all like he slept the entire eight hours in bed---he was exhausted and the light streaming from his window were not kind to his eyes. He flung the covers off and dragged himself to the connected bathroom to stare at his dishevelled appearance.

He looked like shit on Christmas day.

Three hours later after a screaming match with the general manager and the Bastard Hoyt himself in, thankfully, the privacy of a business centre meeting room. Harvey was sent packing to his _non_ -presidential suite two floor below his supposedly room with an ostentatious amount of alcohol, leeway, and an invitation later from the owner for a Christmas party that evening. Hoyt--did Harvey forget to mention bastard?--the bastard has decided to stay in the big apple for this big Christmas party shindig this year and booked took over the top three floors of his hotel for a very exclusive Christmas event for three hundred of his _closest_ friends and fuck buddies.

Harvey was not at all pleased even if he parted with a written promise from the man to be booked at _any_ of his hotels at _any_ time, baring only for Hoyt's own personal use, for the rest of his life. He claimed moral damages for Hoyt's _destruction_ of his Christmas plans. Hoyt, the bastard, was a softie and signed the documents without further delay. For this reason, Harvey slumped inside his _non_ -presidential two-room suite glaring at everything that was mediocre about it. He growled under his breath and scornfully headed to the showers when he knew that he was _supposed to be_ enjoying the an orgy-ready bathtub two floors up.

He was not happy at all. If he were a lesser man, he would have packed up his things and left for another hotel, but he was Harvey Specter _the_ name partner in the soon-to-be Specter Law Firm. He would not demean himself, especially in front of a high-billing client that paid him millions just to be on retainer. He would have to suck it up for the entire week that he booked in the hotel. Then come the new year he would become a new man and forget that this small inconsequential event ever happened. Tonight though, he was going to the party and on of Hoyt's unwitting party guests over the back of the stupid _non_ -presidential suite sofa and leave stains for the housekeeping staff to lament over when he checked out.

He took back a blonde, petite not too curvy, with cropped pixie-cut hair and a deep-cut burgundy dress that left nearly _nothing_ to the imagination. He plundered her mouth his tongue and she vocalized like a consummate professional on the catwalk. Then, for the briefest moment, she opened her eyes and Harvey thought he saw Mike Ross' cerulean blue eyes staring back at him, Mike's flushed cheeks and pouty read lip, and Mike's spiky blond hair. He pushed her off him, cursing, before sending her away twelve hours too early. Mike's husky _male_ voice resonated in his ears all the way back to his chosen bedroom and Mike's desperate whimpers joining him in the darkness.

"Harvey"

It was the second night in a row that he woke to someone calling his name. It bothered him _less_ the second time that he noticed that it was still an ungodly hour in the night. He shifted away, forcing himself back into slumber by completely avoiding the voice that was calling him. If he pretended to sleep then, maybe, the person disturbing him would go away too. Of course, he was not that lucky.

"Harvey Specter, if you do not get your ass out of bed in five minutes than I will be forced to leave you with Madison for an entire week while I take a vacation in the Bahamas!" Donna threatened, crossing her arm from where she stood at the foot of his bed. " _And_ I am so billing you for this because it is not explicitly stated in my contract that I have to work _overtime_ during the holidays!" She highlighted her point by kicking her high-heeled feet at the edge of the bed. "Get up!"

"Okay. Okay" Harvey exasperated in surrender. He dragged himself out of bed to stare as his executive assistance, because he was too high up the foodchain to have a secretary and EA sounded way better _and_ had better pay. "What are you doing here?" he asked, eyeing the red head in all her fashionably glory at twelve-oh-one in the morning. "How did you get into my room?"

Donna merely raised an eyebrow and does not bother expending any more of her energy to move other parts of her body.

"Right..." Harvey grumbled his bed and rubbed his eyes. "Which brings me to my question; what are doing here, Donna? It's past midnight on Christmas and I'm sure you aren't supposed to be here. I would know if I called you for anything. None of my clients have any urgent business. Hell, they're all probably still at Hoyt's party upstairs."

She narrowed her eyes. "Seriously, Harvey, if you still don't understand by now then clearly Jessica made a mistake making you a name partner. Didn't you listen to anything she said two days ago?"

Harvey blinked and shocked and muffled his groan with his hands. "Not you too? Urgh... so what are you supposed to be, Christmas Present or something? Then why you?"

She rolled her eyes. "That's my Harvey! Good, you can follow. Technically I am Donna and I am Christmas Present. It's hard to explain. All the mystical mumbo-jumbo. Basically, CP is borrowing my body and a part of my consciousness for the time being while I take you through the long winding hell of---err, not hell---path of this year's Christmas. Because let's face it, Harvey, I'm the most stable thing that you have in your life for the past decade and we aren't even fucking. That _says_ something. So up and att'em. I'll give you the decency to change before we do this because that hotel bathrobe give me _hives_ just by staring at it. Shoo! Go change in the bathroom!"

Harvey grumpily obliged.

"So where are you taking me?" he asked as he stepped out of the bathroom dressed in a suit.

"I actually hate this part" Donna admitted with a dry look. "We're going to London. Come on." She scoffed at Harvey's disbelieving expression and merely extended her hand to him. "Didn't I tell you already? Seriously, Harvey, pay attention. I'm working _on Christmas night_ for you. I, at the least, deserve another pair of shoes for walking in the snow. That, and I am partially possessed by the Ghost of Christmas Present. She says she likes my sass that why she lets me do the talking, by the way."

The scene changed around him on the exact moment that he touched her hand.

It was a bedroom with nondescript white sheets and pale brown accent pillows. A light wooden decorative headboard with etchings on the glass. It was a smaller than his bedroom back at the Hoyt-Walsh Hotel but felt as impersonal. He smirked at Donna when he saw the bed, lifting the corner of his eye as he looked at her.

"If you wanted a bed, you didn't have to take me all the way to London."

Donna was not in the mood of playful banter. On the contrary, she looked like all this was about to make her sick.

Her tone was apologetic when she said, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. "I told her that I didn't like this."

On cue, there was a loud moan that erupted from somewhere behind the headboard. It was followed my rhythmic thudding against the wood, the tell-tale and pornographic sound of flesh on flesh, and the screeching of furniture carelessly being slid over the similarly wooden floor. They pair waited, in the bedroom, while the ruckus continued from the other side. Donna kept shooting Harvey pleading looks, as if begging for the man to react and let this whole encounter over with. But Harvey remained firm as still, his jaw clenched tight and his hands curled into fists at his side.

"Donna, what the fuck are we doing here?!"

"Oh thank god!" exclaimed Donna just before she grabbed Harvey's hand. "I thought I had to _watch_ _that_ for the rest of the night. It was like very badly written porn. Jesus, Harvey, I just can't---urgh, no, just no. You do not pay me enough for this or _that_. I am personally scarred for life. You owe me. More than the time that I convinced Mike not to leave you alone or leave the firm. Hear me? You _owe_ me for making me watch that horrible, horrible thing. My awesomeness has gone down two notches! And it's getting weaker and weaker every minutes I remember it!"

"Donna!" Harvey barked, breaking her from her ramblings.

"Ahh. Right." Donna mumbled and recollected her composure. She looked pathetically sorry and---to Harvey's surprise---was genuine about it. "I---I'm sorry you had to see that. Believe me Harvey, if I had a choice, I wouldn't have let you see that but I.... urgh, this is so complicated... you just had to see that, okay? Can you trust me? Harvey, please?"

It took him a while but eventually Harvey nodded.

"Was that really Scottie?"

Donna turned away and slowly nodded.

"Husband?"

"Fiancé"

"Same as the last time?"

"No"

"Okay." Harvey paused. "Why did you show me that?"

"Because..." Donna trailed off, a rare occurrence for his executive assistance. The sassy, quick-witted, and self-professed awesome woman was rarely ever _this_ uncertain. She appeared uncertain now whether or not to finish the rest of her sentence. "... as much as I vehemently hate to admit it, Harvey, but Scottie was one of the great loves of your life. Her and Zoe. You _know_ just how far she can get under your skin with what little time she railroads into your life. It's a mess and it's a disaster each and every time. But she is... a very big part of what made you who you are."

"Why couldn't you show me Zoe?"

"Because _you_ , Harvey Specter, are a miserable self-righteous arrogant prick with an ego the size of the milky way. I wouldn't even be needed here if I could have just shown you Zoe. She would have made you a better man. She did for a while. She brought life out of your dreary world and inspired you to _strive_ to be better than the playboy that you keep pretending you are. You know why, Harvey. You know why Zoe isn't the one I showed you or isn't the one that I'll be showing you next."

"Where are we going?"

Donna smiled faintly and stepped away. "See for yourself." and Harvey did.

He did not recognize the place but the snow-covered gravestones gave it away.

"The graveyard? Donna? Isn't this sadistic even for you?"

"Not the place, Harvey." Donna shook her head. "Look who else is here." she said, urging him further onto the snow-covered pathway. He stumbled for a bit and then noticed the freshly made footprints on the soft white ice. Unconsciously, or perhaps it was Christmas Present controlling him, he followed the track until he eyed a familiar mop of blond hair a short distance away.

"Mike" he voiced out in confusion. "What is he doing here?"

"What do you think?" Donna quipped sarcastically and shrugged. "He's spending Christmas with his _family_ , Harvey. Or don't you remember that each and every single person in that very exclusive group is buried six feet under?" Harvey's turmoil expression garnered a well-practiced eye roll. "They're all dead. His parents, his grandparents. No other relatives here in the big apple, not even cousins. Edith died last year, Harvey. Remember? Or no... you don't. That was the week you refused to give Mike _personal time off_ and yet he still managed to hold a decent service for her."

Silence hung in the air, so thick that it rivalled the light snow fall.

"Why are you showing me _him_?"

"Oh, Harvey" she said with pity in her voice and distraught in her eyes. Then in a second, she narrowed her eyes and appear offended. "I might not have said anything but I know you've been _fucking_ Mike six-ways to whatever-the-hell-day-you-want-it-be. He walks _funny_ in the office and whenever you guys managed to pull and all-nighter for a big case, the following day Mike is very visibly _limping_! Seriously, I don't even know how he manages to keep _biking_ his way to work after a night with you. It's pathetic. Of you. Not him. Heartless too. You make him _bike_ to work and I haven't said anything all this time because... urgh, you boys... Harvey you _must_ know, don't you?"

"That Mike likes me?"

"Is that all?" Donna question with a frustrated sigh.

Harvey makes and off-handed shrug. "Why do you think he's not allowed to stay over?"

"Harvey..." She deadpanned. All the colour of her face noticeable drained. "What do you mean you _never_ let him stay over? He's in your condo all the time!"

"Just how much will you remember after this?"

She blinked. "Nothing when I wake up tomorrow. So spill."

"Only when we're working on cases. Not the other times."

"Other times?"

Harvey nods gingerly. "We are two grown men and consenting adults. We have a... mutually beneficial agreement to release our excess sexual energy... we both understand that there are no strings attached and it does not mix with firm business... no one's feelings are getting hurt."

A loud slap echoed through the quiet space. It was loud enough that Mike turned around and momentarily stared directly at them as if he could see the pair.

"Harvey, you foul vile man." She gritted behind clenched teeth. "Doing that to _your puppy_ ,are you an idiot? You're worse than Louis and he is intentionally being an asshole..." she fumed enough to grow red on her cheeks. "If I remember any of this in the morning, I swear to god that I am quitting as your EA, no matter how many handbags or expensive shit you give me. You can give me a million dollars and I still will not be working for a terrible man like you... you're despicable!"

"Donna, what are you _talking_ about?" Harvey flinched because speaking hurt his sore jaw. She packs a punch for such a slender woman.

"Months, Harvey, MONTHS!" she screeched at him, completely losing all of her Donna-known-cool. "For months, I've watched you two frolic about in the office with those googly eyes and... you know what's worse...what's worse is that the Durant kid wins the betting pool and I just two grand because of this! You fool!" she yelled, pushing him back with all her might. "You're an idiot, Harvey Specter. You don't know what you're missing."

Harvey fell into an abyss and, as he did, there was only one name he thought of calling out for---Mike.

"MIKE!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, reaching out to the fast-fading memory of snow. There was no way that Mike could reach him. It was impossible. It  was like he fell into a rabbit whole and grew farther away with every passing second. He reached out, extending his blown-out shoulder as far as he could, even when his eyes watered in pain. The scene stopped with Mike staring directly in their direction and the last thing he saw was those baby blue eyes.

"Mike, no!"

It was still dark when he awoke again, muscles achy from the way he was slouched against a back-alley wall. The place was unfamiliar. It smelled like garbage, urine, and stagnant rainwater. The stench climbed up his nose and made his stomach turn upside-down. Bile rose up his throat and he ran to the nearest dumpster, spewing the contents of the fancy Christmas party food. It tasted bitter on his tongue.

"Donna?" he surveyed the area in search for his EA. "Donna? Christmas? Present? DONNA!" he yelled the last word in frustration.

"Calm down" his assistant's cool and composed voice came from the mouth of the alley. She changed her clothes to something that would fit the chilly outdoors. She was frowning and said nothing when she thrust a small paper bag with a drugstore receipt. Inside was mouthwash and a bottle of water.

"Thanks, Donna." he said, lifting the corner of his lips.

"I'm not Donna" the redhead corrected him with a stern expression. "She refuses to talk to you. So here I am. I am the Spirit of Christmas Present. It's _not_ a pleasure to meet you, Harvey Specter. I had hoped, like your friend Jessica, that it would not have come to this. Yet, alas, here we are. Do you know what I've shown you?"

He nodded blankly. "You showed me my ex-girlfriend and my subordinate. How they're both spending their Christmases." he bit the inside of his cheek when he answered.

Donna's face was pulled into a tight expression. Rolling her eyes, she let out a frustrated sigh. "Yes. Yes. Mr. Genius, but do you even understand _why_ me and your assistant Donna whats-her-name are even bothering to work on Christmas of all days! Holy heaven's angels, your mortal men are _thick_ as the bricks of Egypt! It's embarrassing to call you the smarter species."

"I have no idea what you mean. I don't even understand what you're saying!" He threw his hands up in frustration. "I have no _fucking_ idea why Mike has to do about anything. He's _just_ my fucking associate who I occasionally screw over my  desk. Since when is screwing a crime?! I've screwed countless of women over the years--countless! So what the fuck does Mike Ross have to do anything about it?!"

"Really? _Just an associate_ , huh?" Donna's face scrunched up into a sneer. One that, if she were her normal Donna-self, would have been embarrassing. She crossed her long arms over her chest and huffed out like a peacock. She frowned openly. "Then, you won't be bothered at all by what you're about to see next." She gave him a pointed look that was as sharp as the frozen spikes. "Let's see if you're willing to stick to that bluff of yours. You can follow me."

She led him out of the dingy back-alley and to a small drive bar. The sign was old and barely noticeable fading neon lights declaring that it was open. Dull thrumming of music flooded into the streets, exploding into the alleyway every time the thin wooden door swung open. It opened directly to a bar which was lined with people and a large open dance floor. He kept an half and eye on her the entire time---until his saw a familiar tuff of blond hair near the end of the room.

"Mike...?"

"Don't bother, Harvey." Donna shook her head. "I didn't bring you here to talk to him."  

Mike stood, dressed in dark jeans and an evergreen polo, leaning against the counter. His ass delectably high in the air as he put his weight on one leg. He was nursing as small tumbler of amber in one hand, the ice crinkled while he sloshed the dark liquid sloshed around, and his hands left prints against the condensed glass. It stained the dark table as he slid his finger across.

"Hey gorgeous" a tall redhead approached Mike, squeezing his slightly sweaty body in the space beside the blond. "I've been watching you for a while. You waiting for someone?" He had scruff on his face that pretended to be a beard but was really pickle-bush which conveniently crash-landed on his face. Fuck, what was Harvey doing _seizing up the competition_ like he had something on Mike.

"I---" the look of shock on Mike's was genuine. Mike, obviously flabbergasted, did nothing but gaped open-mouthed as the tall stranger trailed a finger over his free hand.

"He was." another voice butted in. The man, this time, was a bit older with crinkled in the corner of his eyes. He wrapped a hand around Mike's waist, lining their bodies together until not an inch was spared between them. He even went as far as to kiss Mike on the cheek. "Hey, baby, sorry I was late. Did you wait long?"

The blush on Mike's face was _au natural_. "No, not long."

Mystery man made it a point to stare-down his much younger competition, as if tempting him to make an argument. The redhead frowned and stomped away, muttering something like Mike wasn't worth the effort and older men sucked.

"Thank you" Mike whispered when the offender was out of earshot. "I wouldn't know what I would have done if he hadn't backed off."

"It's his loss anyway." he said, letting go of Mike. "He was right, by the way, you are gorgeous. I'm Johnny by the way. If you don't mind me introducing myself."

"Mike" Harvey whispered lowly. His entire body was tense with hands fisted on his sides. He should not, by any means, feel anything by the outward display of flirting because he, out of anyone, would know the ins-and-outs of picking-up a stranger from a bar. He'd done so this morning. Yet, something about it involving _Mike_ made something simmer in his gut.

That kid was _his_.

berated through gritted teeth. His firsts were clenched to his sides.

Mike laughed, a bit uneasily but didn't move away. "Mike" he responded. "You aren't too bad to look at either. Can I buy you a drink? For saving me from that creep? I mean that's okay if you're not... uhm, into dudes or anything... I just, don't know how to really thank you."

"I could drink" the guy--Jhonny--replied with a grin. He moved but away but didn't let go, not missing the soft whine from Mike's lips. He kept his hand snug around Mike's waist like had every right to be there. He looked at Mike suggestively through his short lashes with in invitation clear in his gaze. "What're you having?"

"Just scotch" He answered with a shrug.

"Oh." Jhonny's brows shot up. He squeezed into the space left by the redhead. "Heart ache then." He noted with a frown. "You poor thing." There wasn't any pity in his voice at all. It sounded more like an observation rather a sentiment. He placed a hand over Mike's on top of the counter. "Just so you know. I don't really do casual hook-ups but if you're ready to move on from whoever that asshole is, my apartment block isn't too far from here."

Mike appeared to take it into consideration. His fingers played on the rim of his tumbler while he got lost in thought. He thumbed his lower lip absently with his other hand and worried over the fingertip with his teeth. Nail-biting had always been one of his habits aside from wearing those skinny little ties.

"Mike" Harvey warned darkly. Even if he was just an apparition, he wanted to try, he needed to try. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if Mike were to walk out of the bar with some stranger on Christmas day. "Puppies should know better than to play with wolves." He said, voice loud and commanding like he were in the office. "You should go home, rookie, and forget about this creep." He stepped behind the younger lawyer.

"Harvey?!" Mike whipped around in surprise. He stared at Harvey with wide-open eyes, agape at the older man's appearance, like he was half-convinced that it was a dream."What the _fuck_ are you going here? Weren't you in the new Hoyt Hotel?" He asked with something akin to hope in his voice.

Harvey was stunned into silence because according to all his previous encounters in the past two nights, Mike should not have been able to hear him. He could not decide which one he preferred: to be able to watch and see or be part of the scene. In the corner of his eyes he saw Donna's doppelganger smirking on the dance floor. He played it cool and shrugged. "I was in the area. I didn't expect you to be here."

The little hope that shone in Mike's eyes was extinguished completely.

"Where else would I be, Harvey?" Mike responded bitterly. "I won't just sit around in an empty apartment on Christmas. You rejected my invitation, didn't you? I see no point in wallowing in what I couldn't have." His eyes were ablaze when he spoke.

"So is this the guy that broke your heart, then, Mike?" Jhonny inquired lightly, moving closer behind Mike. "I don't mean... you don't have to tell me if you won't want to. Or I can leave you two along if I'm bothering you. I didn't expect him to be here. I told you..." he leaned close to Mike's ear "I don't do one-time things. I'm in it for the long-haul."

"Don't listen to that guy, Mike." Harvey argued with a sneer. "He's only trying to get in your pants. Look at him! He's... he's... nothing!"

"You mean, compared to you?" Mike retorted. "You think everyone is beneath you, Harvey! None of us would measure up to _you_! You're so pigheaded and you only care about yourself! What's wrong if I go back to Jhonny's place to have sex? It could be something. It could be nothing. Either way, he's offering me something I've wanted for years."

"Don't whore yourself out, Mike." Harvey tried to reason.

"Too late, Harvey." Mike countered. "I've been whoring myself out to you for years."

"Mike!"

"I don't even know why I love an asshole like you!" He turned around and angled his head in Jhonny's direction. "I know it might be too much to ask you to save me for a second time in one night. I barely know you and you barely know me..." he spoke in a quiet voice. "...but if you were serious about your earlier offer. I think that it's time I more on from this four-year torch. I..." he turned to look at Harvey over his shoulder. "I don't want be stuck loving a man who would never love me back."

On cue, Jhonny's arm wrapped around Mike's waist and pulled the younger man close. "Are you sure?" He asked quietly. "I'm a very jealous man, Mike. I'm not going to stick around if you decide to stay in peripheral waters. I don't share. And I don't want this to be a one-night stand."

"Yes" Mike nodded. "Let's go, Jhonny. Take me back to your house."

"Mike!" Harvey shouted as the two weaved through the crowd. "MIKE!"

Donna crept silently to him. "I thought you said you didn't care, Harvey?" She questioned. Her voice was dipped in sarcasm as she casually slide beside him. She had a smirk on her face, daring him to say otherwise, daring him to admit that he _cared_. So he regarded her without a sound, jaw locking and face tight.

"This means nothing." He gritted out. "Take me back home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... Christmas bells are ringing~ I'm writing this to distract myself from #MarveySecretSanta~ I cannot wait! :D 
> 
> Do **YOU** want a Christmas fic? Visit my tumblr and ask for one! :)


	4. Christmas Yet to Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face shows Harvey Christmas---for him, for the firm, and for Mike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning** There's a big of a Mike/Other pairing in this chapter. Sorry! You can skip it very quickly!

Harvey was used to the feeling of tiredness that greeted him the following morning. He sat up, vividly remembering his dream, or was it? He surveyed the room for anything that was amiss. He was alone with no traces of the woman he nearly took back to his room last night. But something caught his eye in the bathroom, the hotel robe he'd worn when he went to sleep was haphazardly thrown over the marble sink just like he'd done in his dream. It couldn't be---

He scrambled for his phone and dialled the first person his speed dial. She picked up on the first third ring, groggy and irritated.

"Christ, Harvey, it's the day after Christmas." She bemoaned over the receiver. There was the sound of sheets rustling like she was turning to her side. " _This fucking head ache is killing me. I feel like I didn't sleep a wink last night._ "

His eyes shot wide. "Donna. What did you do last night?" He barked over the phone. His hands faintly trembled at the thought. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. He told himself over and over again. He must have forgotten to change out of his clothes last night, he lied to himself, because he knew he was wearing a different set of clothes. He was hoping that he was wrong.

There was a groan. "It's the first time I came home in years. My sisters over-compensated with the alcohol. So if you aren't dying or if I'm not in danger of losing my job, I'm hanging up on you."

"Donna, _please_ "

Her sharp intake of breath was audible through the line. "I told you." she said in irritation. "I was at my sister's house for a Christmas party" A long pause. "Harvey?" she seemed to realize that something was off with the timbre of his voice. "Harvey..." she called with new recognition. "Harvey. You wouldn't call just to check up on me. That's not like you. What happened? Is something wrong?" she sounded fully awake, voice dripping with concern for her boss-and-friend. "Tell me what happened."

"It's..." Harvey gripped his phone until his knuckles turned white. "...it's nothing, Donna. I must have drunk too much alcohol last night. I must have been dreaming."

"It didn't have anything to do with Mike by any chance, did it?"

He froze. A sharp pang of guilt welled up in his chest, then came jealously, then there was anger. "How the _fuck_ could you know that?" he had asked without realizing it.

There was a heavy sigh. "It's always been about Mike with you Harvey." Another sigh. "After Zoe and after Scottie, that puppy of yours has been the only thing that gets you wound-up so tightly. Have you finally realized that there's more than just fucking-after-hours-in-the-office yet? 'Cause I'm too hung-over to deal with your relationship crisis right now."

"No" he replied rigidly. "I... goodbye, Donna"

He hung up the phone and stared blankly into the wall. A mirror was hanged above the dresser and gave him a full view of the bed---and himself. He looked at haggard as he felt like he hasn't slept at all in days instead of the precious few minutes that he had been awake. His suit was rumpled. His shirt was undone. And---he groped his shirt frantically and, true enough, there was a stain from the encounter with a drunk partygoer from the _bar_ not the party upstairs.

Shakily, he reached for the hotel landline and dialled Mike's number from memory.

"Hello?' a voice came after three rings. It was deep, wreaked, and ragged but it wasn't Mike's. "Hello?" came again and Harvey recognized it as the voice of the man from last night---

"Jhonny?" another voice, younger, lighter, but no less broken-in. It sounded like it came from a few feet away. "Did someone call?"

"Yeah. It's an unknown number though. So I thought it could have been an emergency." There was shuffling on the other line like the phone passing between fingers. The sound of faint breathing and the telltale breathy way Mike inhaled when Harvey caressed his sensitive dick after an orgasm.

Harvey did not know which bothered him more; the fact that _another man_ could elicit the same reactions from his puppy or the fact that he _knew_ they just had sex recently enough to have Mike so sensitive. It didn't bother him at all that he could tell Mike's post-sex state from the man's breath alone.  

"Hello?" Mike's voice came through a few minutes later. "If this is a prank call, buster, you've got some nerve doing it after Christmas." he said, irked after Harvey refused an answer. "Urgh!" he groaned then the line promptly died.

"FUCK!"

***

Harvey spent the Christmas in the hotel room without bothering to emerge from his self-imposed isolation even for lunch. He'd finished all his tax forms, HR forms, and every other form he needed to file before New Year. He was feeling stir-crazy by the time that dinner rolled around. The hotel felt more like a outrageously lavish prison rather than a luxury suite. He took a shower, got dressed, and headed out to dinner. He needed fresh air to clear his head from his dreams---and from Mike.

Not in the mood for anything fancy, he went to the Hell's Kitchen District, near the Pier. The was a seafood restaurant there that he liked because they served home-cooked food accompanied by the warm feeling of home. He went there when he needed to avoid the high-society pressures that came with his line of work. People there rarely cared for who he was as long as he was a paying customer.

"Harvey?" Mike asked him with a mix of surprise and suspicion. "What are you doing _here_?"

"M--Mike?" He stuttered his reply. "What the---?" a figure came from behind Mike, studying him with a incredulous expression. Harvey remembered him clearly as the man who took Mike home last night. Jealousy boiled in his gut. "You" he breathed out in accusation, for what he couldn't really comprehend. All he knew was a guy _who wasn't him_ was holding onto Mike's hip like it belonged there.

"I'm sorry." Jhonny spoke up. "I don't believe we've met, Mr...?"

"Specter" he spat. "It's Atty. Harvey Specter."

"Have we met before...?" the other man cautiously said like he was walking over thin ice. "Because you look a bit familiar."

"We met yesterday at the bar." Harvey barely contained his bitterness. "You took my associate home."

"Harvey..." Mike warned with utter seriousness. "I haven't been your associate in years. I'm a goddamn Senior Associate for Christ's sake!" He hissed under his breath. He visibly tried to keep his anger contained but it bled into his voice.

"You work for my firm. You work for me." Harvey jeered back.

"For the firm!" Mike corrected, all thoughts of keeping it decent gone from his face. "Not you. Corporate veil, remember? There's a difference. Or is your head so far up your ass that you forgot already? You should review the Corporation Code, _boss_." He turned his back towards Harvey and hooked at arm into Jhonny's. "Let's go." he told the man. "I suddenly don't feel like seafood."

Jhonny smiled with understanding. "Come on." He murmured into Mike's hair. "I saw a burger joint a few streets down."

Mike threw his head back and laughed, completely dissing Harvey's presence, as they walked out of the store. "A man after my own heart~"

Harvey stood, in the middle of the entry way, feeling lost and dejected.

"Oh honey" one of the older waitresses cooed. She tsked and shook her head. "Getting dumped on Christmas." She gave him a pitying look. "Come on over to the counter and let's get you some pie, on the house, ain't nobody deserves to get dumped on Christmas." She gestured to the empty bar stool. "Go on, now, don't be shy. We've got plenty of pie to share."

He followed and spent the rest of Christmas day in the company of kind-hearted strangers.

***

When he woke up later that night, he was more pissed-off than surprised to come face-to-face with Louis Litt. He groaned heavily and rolled his eyes. Someone, somewhere, was probably laughing their ass-off right now at his misfortune. It could possibly be the wandering soul of Jessica Pearson. No, now that he thought about it, he was positive that it was Jessica who sent Louis after him. He long stopped pretending that the nightly visits were a dream. He decided to listen to finally heed her warning. If it was true, then tonight would be the final night of nightmares.

"Louis" he greeted blankly, covering his eyes as if not seeing his balding Senior Partner would make the situation marginally better, at least he didn't have to see those god-awful bucked front teeth. "You're here." he stated, for the lack of anything better to say. He threw his head back on the pillow and resolutely refused to sit-up. "Are you here to show me my future?"

"No" the man had the audacity to sound _happy_ about the entire affair. "I'm here to show you the firm's future. It's nice to see that you've finally listened to our warnings. I've got the Spirit of Christmas Future. Not your future specifically..." he trailed off. Harvey felt the bed dip and goose bumps rose on his arms because Louis fucking Litt was sitting on _his_ bed. Heaven forbid the thought! "...I'm showing you the firm's. Don't bother changing clothes. It won't matter where we're going.  You better believe it, Harvey! It Litt-Up my night!"

Harvey tried to imagine Louis with that stupid fucking grin on his face.

He opened his eyes because he heard the sound of Mike's melodically laughter, loud and uncontained, like that one-time they'd gotten high together. He belatedly realized that he has not heard that sound in years. Mike's laughter had sounded tight and guarded recently. It was a far cry, paling in comparison, to the unbridled joy that he heard now. He was lying face-up in the couch in his office. The faint flow of multi-coloured lights told him that it was Christmas.

"Wha--?" He mumbled, disoriented. He caught sight of Mike _and Jhonny_ kissing at his desk. "What the fuck?" He said aloud but the couple either didn't notice him or were blatantly ignoring him. It pissed him off either way. "What the fuck are you doing?! IN.MY.OFFICE?!"

 "Knock, knock" Louis called, knocking as he opened the glass partition, with a wide toothy smirk. He glanced at Harvey's direction for a split second and the older man's eyes grew comically wide. Louis could see him! The other man turned to Mike again and gestured with his hands. "You ready, buddy?" He asked gleefully. He was dressed in a ridiculously expensive suit as if it was a special occasion. "There's waiting for you downstairs to hear your speech." He shot Harvey another look.

Jhonny smiled and kissed Mike once more on the lips, chastely. "I'm so proud of you Atty. Ross" he said with joy. "You're finally getting your name up on the wall!" Mike giggled and pulled Jhonny back by the tie, an action that he frequently did with Harvey whenever they were together. Another jolt of fury surged through Harvey's veins as he watched both men exit the office and go into the hall.

Louis had remained inside. "Figure out what's happening in that small brain of yours yet, Harvey?"

"You little shit!" Harvey yelled, aggressively closing the gap between them. He fisted his hands into Louis' lapels, drawing the shorted man to his toes. "WHAT.DID.YOU.DO?"

"Me? What did I do?" The shorter man merely raised his eyes brows and laughed. "Don't you mean what did _you_ do, Harvey?" he challenged. "You can seethe there all you want but for the first time, I didn't actually fuck it up, Harvey. You did. You and your arrogance 'caused this to happen. Or don't you remember?" He laughed again like he practiced it for years, like he'd been waiting to use it for just this occasion.

Harvey paled and released him.

"What are you talking about, Louis?"

Louis scoffed. "I'm talking about you following in Daniel Hardman's footsteps. You were ousted from the firm by a majority vote from the Seniors Partners today. You're no longer part of this firm, Harvey." he declared, delivering the new like he was the archangel Raziel. "I'll show you!"

The scene changed once again then there were in the lobby of Specter Law Firm but the name of the wall wasn't Harvey's alone: SPECTER LITT ROSS was embossed in platinum block lettering on the wall. "Oh god" Harvey bemoaned in horror. "What did I do?"

A small crowd of employees had gathered. Rachel was among the pool of associates with a big smile on her face. He searched the masses for Donna. He spotted her in the corner of the room, eyes blood-shot hair and disarray, hiding in the shadow. He hasn't seen her like that since Jessica fired her all those years ago. Where was he? He couldn't find his future self in the throng of people.

"You took off this morning." Louis supplied.

"Where?"

Louis shrugged. "I wouldn't know. You never talk to me, remember?" It wasn't so much a taunt as it was an observation. "Shhh" he put a hand over his lips. "Mike's about to give his speech."

Mike stood in front of the firm name, facing them, with a big smile on his face that, without a doubt, was brighter than all the artificial lighting combined. He was dressed in a sharp, midnight blue pinstriped suits, three-piece with a wide-navy blue tie, and a _pocket square_ on his breast. He appeared older, more mature, but no less handsome than when Harvey last saw him. If any, age had done wonders to his round youthful face. The roundness was gone now and replaced with more angular features.

"Wow" was the first thing Mike said with hint of red painting his cheeks. "Just wow." he breathed out like too couldn't believe it. The people cheered him on. "I really don't know what to say... It's been... a hell of a ride getting here. Thank you." he raised his class of champagne to the crowd. "To each and every one of you here. This firm wouldn't be standing if it weren't for each and every one of you. I would know because I've had the pleasure of working closely with nearly every department over the past ten years."

"Don't make this about us, you big sap!" Rachel catcalled.

"Yeah!" the group of young (perhaps associates) cheered near the back. "It's about you, boss! Why don't you make a proper speech then!" they chanted again like a bunch of college jockeys.

Mike just laughed.

"Go on then, Mike." a small Asian girl that Harvey didn't recognize spoke up. "Stop being so sentimental. I've worked with you for four years! I couldn't have asked for a better mentor."

He blushed. "Thank you, Chelsea." he tried to wave off her compliment. "Well... what can I say? Really. I can go on and on about the long winding road to get here but it's nothing that any of you don't go through every day of your lives in the firm. So no, I won't say that. I also won't say that I came all this way based on my merits alone because I started out knowing nothing" a series of laughs and a sullen glace towards Donna "and I couldn't have gotten this far without your help along the way. So I guess this is the time I can you out and give you proper recognition..."

"To Rachel Zane" he raised his glass and they shared a small knowing smile "As my first friend and oldest friend in the firm. I confess that I, may or may not, have accidently hit on your when we first met but I hope I've done enough through the years for you to forgive me. Without you, I'd still be a lost puppy in the bullpen 'cause you taught me how to work my way through the Library. So to you, thank you."

She returned his smile. "I'd still be a paralegal if it weren't for you." she admitted light-heartedly."I think you did all right."

"To Donna" he had to search the crowd again to find her. She moved to the front of the main conference room. "You're the closest thing I have to an older sister. I know that I wouldn't have gotten my foot in that interview room if you didn't give Harvey the signal." He chuckled under his breath at the name. "And you wouldn't say this aloud but I suspected you've been Team Mike since day one." he gave her a cheeky little wink to lighten the mood.

From the corner of his eye, Harvey saw Donna was chocking back her sobs and stifling her tears. She had a hand cupped over her mouth. It wasn't even the fake tears she used for mock trials. No, Harvey realized, her tears were real.

"So thank you so much for being there and I'm glad you accepted to be my secretary." He heard Mike say and the implication of that sentence along were tremendous.

There was a collective gasp amongst the crowd.

"Louis" Mike turned and raised his glass. "I could sing praises about you all day long but it wouldn't be enough. So I'll just have to give you this." He pointed to a small group of women at the side. "Bring it in" he hold them. A small rectangular cake covered in brown frosting was rolled into view. "It's a few years late but I've finally joined Team Litt-Ross" he said with a cocky grin. Louis looked over the moon.

"There's someone else I'd like to thank but he's no longer with us. He resigned effective this morning." Mike pointed to the name of the wall. "With utmost honesty I can say that I would not here today if that man didn't believe in me enough to hire me. Some of you, in the early years, even believed he had favouritism issues when it came to me." He tried to laugh away the bitterness in his voice. "You weren't wrong. Harvey Specter worked me like a slave, ruthlessly ate away my days, and pushed me almost to the brink of wanting to quit. But he made me a better man. I'm proud to say that I can finally be his equal."

He took that moment to look directly in Harvey's direction, as if he knew, as if he could see.

It was too much for the older man.

He ran.

He ran into a corridor that led into the Senior Partner's private lounge.

But he opened to the door to an unfamiliar room.

It was a wide open living room with an eight foot Christmas tree and a floor overflowing with presents. The sky had changed from the bright afternoon sun to the dark starless night. He had no idea where he was. It wasn't the hotel. It wasn't his condo. It certainly was not Mike Ross' apartment in Brooklyn either. But he could be wrong because he heard a heavy breathing coming faintly from the hallway. He followed the sound all the way to a bedroom.

The sight shouldn't have given him such a surprise.

Mike was hunched over Jhonny, clearly in the throes of passion, as he fucked the older man with powerful thrusts. Their hands were entwined where Mike was pushing himself up against the mattress. Hair was matted on his face, sweat-drenched and dripping lewdly on the contours of his partner's back, while he buried cock balls-deep until their thighs slapped against each other. His other hand was fumbling fantically underneath Johnny's body. He made a grunt-like noise signalling that he was about to come.

"Jhonny" he moaned into his partner's skin. "Fuck, I'm gonna, no, not yet, I want you to cum around my cock." He pressed his forehead between his lover's shoulder blades and made a pleading sound. "Come" he begged. "I want to feel you come around my cock, Jhonny, please, I fuck---"

"Fuck" Jhonny met Mike moan for Moan while he pressed back to meet each thrust. "I'm gonna cum" he groaned into the pillow. "Like that"  he drooled. "Just like that, faster, please, faster, stroke my cock faster, please, please, please, MIKE!" He yelled into his completion and Mike's hips stuttered and jerked, twitching above the older man.

"Oh Jesus Fuck" Mike mewled as they both collapsed on the bed. He rolled away. "That was... Jhonny I can't even..."

"Merry Christmas, Mike" Jhonny greeted, pushing up to his elbows and giving Mike a kiss. "Happy Anniversary."

Mike turned to his side reclaimed the other's lips. "Thank you" he whispered while they were nose to nose. "What I said about Harvey was true but I would have quit long ago if you didn't save me in that bar."

Jhonny chuckled. "I'm glad you came home with me that day, Mike. You've made me the happiest man alive."

"Make me happier." Mike pressed, climbing on to Jhonny lap. He ground their over-sensitized flaccid erections together and shuddered at the touch gave him pleasure which bordered on pain. He leaned down and kissed Jhonny affectionately once more. The older man hummed and wrapped his arms around the Mike's hips. "Marry me" Mike whispered. "Marry me, Jhonny. I love you. I love you so much so marry me."

Harvey's entire world felt like it was collapsing. He watched, desensitized, as the couple went for another round after Jhonny's enthusiastic yes. Suddenly, everything didn't matter anymore, not the firm, not the money, not all the wealth in the world. He felt emptier than he had when he told Gordon about Lily, or when Zoe turned him down, or when Scottie refused to marry him. He felt like his heart was physically ripped out of his chest and he was forced to cannibalize over it.

He heard the screaming first before he belatedly realized that it was coming from him.

***

"No, no, no, no, no!" He cried, bolting up without noticing that he'd laid down in the first place. "No, Mike, no!" He wailed into the office. It was his, no Mike's, office at the firm. "Mike" he whispered reverently over and over again, body rocked with sobs that he couldn't control. "Mike, I..."

"Where did you go?"

Harvey's eyes snapped up at Louis' voice. He was groggy. "I, wh--ut?"

"Where did you go?" Louis asked again with eyes flickering with concern. "I lost you after Mike's speech. Christmas Future was screaming inside my head for the entire time that you were gone. Where'd you go?"

"I..." He said, at a loss for words. "I saw the future." he replied quietly. He looked down and nearly cursed when he saw his trembling fingers. "I saw" despite his best efforts, his voice was unsteady "I saw Mike's future."

"Well, duh" he heard the eye roll as Louis spoke. "Of course you did. I brought you here."

Harvey shook his head. "I saw something else, Louis. I saw Mike and Jhonny at _home_. On Christmas, Mike is going to ask Jhonny to marry him and Jhonny is going to say y--- _yes_." His voice broke and sobs rocked his entire frame. He heaved heavily into his hands, lips trembling uncontrollably and tears ran down his face. He cried like he hasn't cried since he was a teen, a waterfall of tears marring his face while his whole body shook from the force of his sobs.

"Fuck, I'm such a fucking idiot."

Louis did not go straight into gloating. Harvey was a surprised to feel a hand placed on his knees. He looked up through water-saddened to see Louis' sombre expression.

"Harvey" the other man said softly. "I didn't know that he was your Sheila. I'm sorry."

Harvey could only laugh in the irony. He could look stupid, crying and laughing at the same time, but he didn't care. He patted Louis on the shoulder and laughed again, ironically sounding like the saddest thing he's heard in years. "Yeah" he nodded. "I..." something welled up inside his chest and made him jerk back with another stream of tears. "I loved him Louis. I may have been in-love with him for years but I... I never showed him how I felt. He should despise me." He spat out bitterly. "I've done nothing to deserve him."

"But Harvey" Louis protested. "That's why we're here. That's why Jessica sent me. This hasn't happened yet. You can still go back and change things. You can still win Mike back. You haven't lost him."

Harvey sobbed. "How would you know?"

"Even a blind man would see how that kid looks at you. I'm honestly surprised that you aren't together."

He laughed at the irony.

"We're not."

"Then go" Louis urged looking like a man prepared to go to war. "I lost my Sheila. You shouldn't lose yours too. Go back, Harvey. There's still hope. Come on." He stood up and forcefully pulled Harvey to his feet. "Nothing is set in stone. Go! Go and get your Sheila back."

Harvey didn't have time to respond as the darkness overtook him. 


	5. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey returns to present day. He's hoping, quite desperately, that everything isn't too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally~ The finale! Thank you for everyone whose read this so far. Enjoy~

Harvey felt tired when he woke up. His back was sore, his neck had a chink, and his head throbbed like there was no tomorrow. In many ways, he was afraid to open his eyes, afraid that it had all been true, afraid that he might have lost the best damn thing that's ever happened to him. He didn't want the future. He wanted Mike because he saw no future for him without Mike in it. He knew that now. He finally learned to accept the one key reality he had been missing all along.

"Harvey?" Mike's voice sounded like a choir of angel to his ears. It was so filled with love and affection that he could not recognize. But he refused to open his eyes. Instead, he listened to the rustle of fabric and the careful steps of leather against wood as Mike made his way towards him. There was a soft intake of breath before finger lightly brushed over his forehead. "Oh, Harvey, you work too hard." came the murmur that made  butterflies swarm in his stomach. He recognised them now.

"As do you" He replied. He took hold of Mike's hand, encircling his fingers around Mike's wrists but not hard enough to leave bruises, and brought it to his face. He allowed himself the uncharacteristic gesture of affection, because he had the worst three nights of his life, and he wanted to reassure himself that this was _real_ , this was _Mike_ who stood beside him. The flesh was warm and soft under his lips with the faint smell of photocopier powder and sweat.

He finally opened his eyes and was rewarded by the sight of Mike's cerulean blue staring back at him.

"Harvey?" Mike asked with his face filled with shock. "Are you alright? You're not acting like you."

"What time is it?" He inquired instead of answering. Mike was here in front of him, the real Mike not the ones which the spectres had been trying to show him, but the Mike whom had stolen his heart without him noticing. It's the same Mike--tousled messy blond hair, bright blue eyes, and lips that were always begging to be kissed. It was _his_ Mike and he intended to keep him.

"It's just after ten." Mike replied, voice still filled with concern. "Are you really okay, Harvey? It's not like you. Maybe we should go home for the night? These paper can wait a few days before we file them. The firm's not going anywhere and we'll have the 27th to the 29th to file them with the city office. We're been working almost fifty-hours straight. You're not that young anymore...I... I worry."

"What date is it?" he prodded. The last time he'd seen the real life Mike, it had been in this very office on Christmas Eve. He didn't recall falling asleep the last time but this time he did. He needed to know how far back he'd gone and how much of his damage he could undo. He knew, deep down, that he could not undo the years of damage, but this was his second chance and he would damn well go down trying.

Mike gave him suspicious look but eventually answered. "It's the 24th. Harvey, are you sure you're all right?"

Harvey couldn't help but smile, soft and affectionate at Mike, the type of unguarded look that he had not allowed himself before. "Come here" he said, pulling Mike's arm like he'd done so many times before, pulling until the younger man climbed onto his lap and straddled him. He leaned into Mike's chest, rubbing his face on the sweat-drenched fabric, and just breathed in like it was his oxygen. He did not speak, he felt like he didn't need to, and held onto Mike for what seemed like forever.

"You smell..." he breathed out and paused long enough to make the blond squirm.

"Well I haven't had a decent shower." Mike snorted lightly, as playful as he's always been. There was no trace of the bitterness and scorn from his last vision. This was _his_ Mike, the one who had yet to replace him, and, hopefully, never will. "I don't have access to the senior partner's showers, you know." he gently bumped Harvey's shoulder in a weak attempt to push the older man away. But Harvey held firm, arms tightening around his back. A quiet growl sounded at the back of his throat at the mere thought of parting.

"...you smell amazing." Harvey said. It wasn't the type of tone that Mike was used to. There was no hint of sarcasm was in his voice. There was something there. Something different that Mike hadn't heard before.

"Harvey..." the blond sounded as confused as he felt. "I think that it's time that you went home."

This time, Harvey nodded into his chest. "Yes" the older man agreed, nuzzling into Mike's stomach once more. He rubbed his nose against the thin cotton fabric directly over one of Mike's nipples and made the younger gasp. He ventured further, opening his mouth and lavishing the rising peak with his tongue. Until Mike's soft whimpers echoed the closed office, hands instinctively braced on Harvey's shoulders and hips starting to ground against him.

"I think you're right." he said in a low voice. He moved off and thumbed playfully along Mike's nipples, one was wet while the other was dry. He looked up, eyeing Mike from his lowered lashes, and took in the view that was a flustered, turned-on, blushing Mike Ross who was hazily gazing down on him. Mike's lips were half-parted, tempting him, and he was powerless to resist. He surged up, sealing their lips together in a tender kiss until Mike opened his mouth and licked past his own lips.

Harvey opened up eagerly, accepting Mike's tongue and sliding against it, while his hands caressed Mike's sides. He traced the line of the ribs, up to the armpits, then lower again to cradle the narrow hips. It was amazing. Mike was amazing. He was getting light-headed at all the sensation that came flooding through his senses---the way Mike smelled, the way Mike sounded, the way Mike felt. It was too much so he pulled away. Mike let out a whine and chased after his lips.

"Mike" He said, firmly, and waited until Mike opened those gorgeous blue eyes fluttered open. "I want to take you home with me" he stated but then stopped to correct himself. "I want you to come home with me."

Mike's eyes grew wide in surprise. "B--but Harvey, I..."

He reached up and cupped Mike's face in his hands, making the other man unable to turn away. He stared intently into Mike's expressive eyes, seeing the fear, the uncertainty, and the small flicker of hope. He brushed his thumbs over Mike's cheeks and pulled until their foreheads were touching.

"Christmas" he clarified without breaking eye contact. "I've got reservations for a hotel from Christmas until the New Year. I'd like to spend it with you. It's your choice on how long you want to stay. We'll go visit your parents and Grammy in the cemetery too, if you want. You visit them every year, don't you?" he waited for a nod. "Then, I want to join you, if you'll let me. Let's go together. After we pay our respects, I'd like to take you to dinner somewhere nice in the city either with good steak or good burgers. How does that sound?"

Mike shuddered. His hands came up to hold the back of Harvey's. "It sounds too good to be true. Am I dreaming?" he whispered shakily. "Please, please, Harvey, don't tell me I'm dreaming. If I was, don't ever wake me up. I just..." his voice broke into a sob. "I don't want this to be a dream."

"It's not a dream, _rookie_." he reassured. "Not a dream, not a fantasy, not a figment of your imagination. I'm not lying to you. I'm not toying with you. I'm not joking with you. I'm serious. I want you to come back to the condo with me." he stared Mike in the eyes, hoping that he's conveying everything through his eyes, while Mike looks like a deer in headlights. He couldn't resist planting a kiss on Mike's nose.

"Come on, let's go home."

And Mike's smile lit up the entire room.

They took a cab to Havey's condo. It was a quiet ride with Harvey never once letting go of Mike's hand. The cabbie wove through terrible Christmas Eve traffic but Harvey held on, thumb gently brushing over Mike's knuckles, and played with Mike's pale fingers. Palm-side up, Harvey traced meaningless patterns onto Mike's skin and made the other man shiver at the contact. He gave-in, allowing him the chance to be as affectionate as he had been scared to be. Those fears all pale in comparison to the fear of losing Mike.

"We're here." Mike announced in a whisper. His voice was filled with uncertainty. "Harvey... I..."

But Harvey shushed him with a kiss and smiled. "Let's go upstairs where I'll strip you of your clothes, kiss every inch of skin I can reach, then I'll carry on even after you forget your own name."

Mike visibly shuddered at the invitation.

"What do you say, Mike?" Harvey asked with utmost seriousness. They were in the lobby of his condo which was deserted save for the security guard. He cupped Mike's hands in his. "Tell me if you don't want this." He said, looking Mike in the eye again. "Tell me and I'll understand. I haven't been the best person in this... in our relationship. But if you want this, if you want me, I want you to stay the night and let me make sweet love to you. But if you don't, I will never hold it against you, Mike." He looked hopeful. "What will it be?"

"Why?" was the only word from Mike's lips. He angled his head to meet Harvey's. Their heights were perfect for kissing. So he leaned in, lips barely touching but their breaths mingled between them. "Why are you doing all this, Harvey? Why are you offering... yourself to me? Harvey, I don't understand and it's... it's scaring me."

 _Because I love you_ , Harvey wanted to say but he didn't. He knew Mike loved him. If he said it now, it would be unfair to the younger man, it would rob Mike of his ability to think with a clear head without feeling obligated to say it back. He didn't want that. He didn't want Mike robbed of his freedom to choose. Mike deserved better than to be coerced into sleeping with him again. No, he wanted it--this, them--to be Mike's choice as much as his.

"Because you matter to me." He confessed sincerely. "Mike, I'm so sorry. I just... I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. Anything you want. Absolutely anything you want." He decided. "Say it, tell me and it's yours."  

"Anything?" Mike clarified with a quiet voice but underneath the uncertainty was his steel determination. It reminded Harvey of all the reason why he fell in-love with this magnificent example of a human being---loyal, smart, and determined. Mike's warm breath blew across Harvey's cheeks causing a shiver to run up the older lawyer's spine.

"Absolutely anything, Mike." Harvey confirmed.

They kissed again, warmer, sweeter, and longer than the last time. This kiss felt like it lasted for hours and hours and hours. Neither of them would have cared if it did. Mike pulled away, fingers brushed over Harvey's cheeks bones then trailed down to the strong jaw. He looked devastatingly handsome, pupils blown but completely focused and lips kiss-swollen until they were red. Mike wrapped and arm over Harvey's shoulders and brought their bodies closer.

"Take me up and make love to me, Harvey" Mike said, breathy and soft. The blush darkened on his cheeks. "I want to us to make love, please. I want... I want to know that this is _real_."

So, Harvey did.

It was magical.

Mike had been to Harvey's condo before but, for some reason, today it felt novel. He was silent the elevator ride up when he normally would be blasting away on his tunes. He tiptoed into the hallway when before he would have been loud like a racoon. He kept shooting glances at Harvey, wordlessly seeking permission, when before he would have run around like he owned the place. It was a good different like everything was seen in a new light, like it was the very first time he set foot into Harvey's personal space. In many ways, he was doing just that.

"Come here" Harvey called out. He led Mike but the hands and guided them to the bedroom. Mike was endearingly shy despite the numerous occasions he'd brazenly displayed his body before. It felt novel. It felt new. The intimacy they shared in the moment was unlike anything they've ever experience through their multiple couples together. This was his chance, his opportunity, to show the younger man what his brain was too afraid to say. "Let me take care of you."

He took Mike to the bed and gracefully folded to his knees.

"Harvey, what are you---"

"Shhh" he pressed a kiss to each of Mike's knees. "Let me" he said before unlacing Mike's shoes, one after the other, then pulling them off. He snaked nimble fingers up the hem of Mike's trousers, caressing what skin he could reach along the way, and slowly pulled of Mike's socks. He was far from finished. With brushed his thumbs on top of Mike's foot then rubbed circles over the inner and outer arches. It made Mike's toes curl. He chuckled.

"Sensitive feet?" he bemused lightly and repeated the action.

"Y--yeah" came Mike's breathy reply, jerking back when Harvey pressed slightly harder on his heel. "Shit, don't, tickles, no, no, c'mere and kiss me, _please_ " Harvey hummed, sounding pleased. He arranged the socks and the shoes at the edge of the bed. He braced his hands on Mike's knees and surged up. The kiss wet, wild, and dirty just their other times together. Finally, finally, Mike relaxed into the kiss, moaning when they parted. "Harvey, _fuck_."

"That's the idea, sweetheart." He kissed Mike once last time then pulled away. "Climb on to the bed for me, will you, sweetheart?"

Mike obediently followed. Harvey covered him within seconds, their bodies lining up perfectly from knee to shoulder, feet also bare. He rubbed his face into the curve of Mike's neck, ran his hands down from the shoulder to Mike's finger tips, brushed their feet against each other. He inhaled deeply, relishing once more in Mike's scent, and groaned at their erection growing between them.

"Perfect" he murmured against Mike's jaw. "So perfect. Will you be a good boy and listen to me, sweetheart?" he asked, nipping lightly at the skin while he rolled his hips. The other man moaned and arched into the touch, barring his neck in an offering. Harvey parted his legs so he could straddle the younger man and ground their erection together. "So, so, _fucking_ perfect for me, Mike."

"Harvey" Mike returned with a moan. "Harvey, Harvey, please."

"Shhh" Harvey cooed. "Soon, I promise."

He undressed Mike, slowly, starting from the tie. He pulled on the knot, slipped a finger under the loop, then gently pulled until the skinny blue satin gave way. He rolled it up neatly and placed it to the side. He felt Mike's gaze directed at him, staring at him through the haze of lust and want and desire. He licked his lips and began undoing the buttons of Mike's shirt. Inch by agonizing inch, he kissed the steadily being uncovered skin, worrying at it with tongue and his teeth. And all Mike could do was whimper at each caress, powerless to Harvey's touches, nipples hardened from the cold gush of air.

"Kiss me" he demanded, reaching down and cupping Harvey's face.

Harvey eagerly complied but only with a chaste peck.

"Harvey..." Mike whined, making Harvey chuckle. He gasped when a warm wet tongue began licking his chest, laving at his skin, then closing in and sucking on his nipples. He let out a breathy, throaty, sob as Harvey sucked on it like babe, soft then hard and apologizing with his tongue. Warm wet kisses trailed down his chest, to his stomach, stopping at the edge of his pants. The whole world was melting around them. All he could, all he wanted, was throw back his head and moan in pleasure. "God, Harvey, _fuuuuck_ ,"

He ran his hands through Harvey's gell-caged hair, untangling the strands until they fell over Harvey's face. "G---god" he breathed out "You're gorgeous." he whispered while pushing back the stray strands off Harvey's forehead. His brain-to-mouth filter was no longer functioning. "Look at you" he cooed. "Women flock you. Clients adore you. Partners exalt you. Associate worship the ground you walk on." he threw his head back and arched his chest as Harvey pulled. "And god, you're here in bed--your bed--the things, uhgh, the things you d--do to me. Jesus, Harvey, _yesssss_!"

Sweet, Jesus. Mike's voice would be the end of him.

Harvey felt his pants constrict painfully in his trousers. He forced the lust-addled thoughts of--- _take, claim, mine_ \---down because tonight wasn't going to be about him. Tonight, it was going to be about Mike. Shirt fully open, exposing the expanse of Mike's firm lithe frame, he lapped into Mike's navel while his fingers expertly undid Mike's belt. He easy unclasp the shiny buckle and removed the sleek black leather from the belt loops. He palmed Mike's raging erection, tracing the contours with his mouths which left large damp patches on the cotton. He could _smell_ Mike's must, hell, he could _taste_ it thought the fabric, and moaned.

"Oh Jesus, Harvey!" Mike squeaked, legs jerking, when vibrations shot up his cock straight to the pleasure centre of his brain. The friction and pressure of Harvey's face being mashed onto his still-clothed penis made him shiver. His over-active imagination giving him a preview of how it would feel _bare_. "Take me out!" he demanded. "Take me out! Take me out! Take me out and _squeeze"_ he begged. "Or I'm going to come too soon. I'm gonna come _now_ if you don't do it! Harvey!"

"No" Harvey commanded with a voice as firm as steel. "Not yet. Do it for me, sweetheart. Don't come yet, not yet. Come on."

The mixture of commanding yet affectionate was new. It made Mike's toes curl in anticipation of what has yet to come. He wanted, oh god he wanted, to thrust his hips into Harvey's face but kept still. He trembled with the effort not to _fuck Harvey's face_. One of his hands flew up to the pillow above him and clutched for dear life. He stuffed fingers into his mouths to somewhat muffled the embarrassing sounds he was making.

"That's good, sweetheart" Harvey cooed and appreciatively ran his hand up and down Mike's thigh. "Always do good~" He bit the zipper and pulled it down. The action followed by him scenting the moist sweat-damp skin that smelled like Mike, and only Mike, which had grown pungent over their long day. He dipped his hands underneath Mike, gripped the firm rounds globes, and hooked under the hem. "Up" he ordered softly then gently tugged down when Mike complied. The pants slipped down easily, one foot first and then the other. "Perfect~"

Mike was gorgeous, pliant and flushed but without the heavy breathing of sex. If Harvey would paint, he could paint him. Sometimes he wished that _he_ had Mike's eidetic memory so that he could take a snapshot of just of devastatingly beautiful Mike looked---spread out on the bed, an arm over his head while the he suckled his fingers of---on the other, shirt wide open, dark evergreen boxers tented, legs spread wide. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes half-lidded while he watched Harvey in a haze, and his mouth, red and supple, partially opened with every breath.

"Harvey..." Mike purred, accompanied by the fluttering of his eyes open. He literally trailed his feet over Harvey's thighs, stomach, chest, then wrapped his legs around Harvey's neck, drawing the older man close. He arched up again, grinding his erection onto Harvey's chest, and moaning at the sweet friction. "Make me come" he pleaded. "Make me come, please. I wa---want to come. Harvey, Harvey, Harvey, please, make me come. I'm gonna explode." In response, the other man started kissing up the inside of his thighs with a chuckle.

"As you wish."

Harvey skimmed the skin of Mike's outer thighs, the heat of his palm like an iron on Mike's skin, slipping over the hips then the waist. He spread his fingers wide, moving back down, and took the boxer off from the inside. Mike shivered at the foreign sensation. His cock sprung free, red and swollen at the tip, and bobbed. It stood up, proud like a monument on a blanket of pubes, and demanded Harvey's immediate and full attention. He drooled at the sight, enough to have him wipe the back of his hand over his mouth.

"Fuck"

"Harvey, Harvey, Harvey" Mike mewled and tightened the grip on his legs. His muscles flexed under the strain and displayed the hard-earned figure from biking around Manhattan. "Harvey, Harvey--- _oh fuck me--_ Harvey _fucking_ Sp--specter!" He yelled when the first touch of Harvey's tongue licked him from base to tip. "Oh sweet jesus. God, Harvey!" he trembled as he shouted. Pleasure jolting up like electricity from his balls, making his toes curl, whiting out his brain with nothing but unadulterated bliss. He was in heaven, in paradise, in the promised land--it was right here, right now, with Harvey sucking in like there was no tomorrow. He spread his legs wider.

Harvey pulled off and kissed the tip. One of his hands gripped Mike at the base and squeezed, earning a jumped yelp from the blond. With the other hand, he ran his fingers over the red cock head, thumb, index, and middle, rubbing in varying circles. Mike jerked when he teased a blunt nail over the slit. He mouthed the side of Mike's cock, tongue tracing the sensitive vein underneath. Mike's toes curled, he felt it on his shoulder. He made a happy little noise in the back of his throat.

Mike's cock tasted like Harvey imagined, pungent and dark. He gripped tighter at the base because he did not want this to be over. It was the first time he's had his mouth on Mike's cock and he wanted it to _last_.

Mike was already shaking at the strain, body tight, in an effort to keep his impending orgasm at bay. He wanted it to last to. He's fantasized about Harvey's dark red lips over him but never like this. He always thought it would a quick one-time thing in the office not in Harvey's bed, in Harvey's condo, with the other man still wearing his impeccable three-piece suit. He shivered at the contrast. His dick twitched and his ball tighten, his eyes flew open, because Harvey _fucking_ Specter was giving himself a facial with his penis! He was speechless as he watched the older man running the tip over his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, then his lips. The contrast between smooth skin and the five o-clock shadow nearly drove him insane.

He tossed and he turned. He fought against Harvey's grip on hips.

But Harvey wasn't quite finished.

"No" Harvey all but growled over Mike's cock. "Not yet. I'm make you incoherent and stupid until nothing else is in that big brain of yours but my _name_."

"Harvey!" Mike surged up and clawed at Harvey's shoulder when he felt a finger tease at his entrance. His body was bent in half and he shook with the effort it took to keep his body steady. He strained his back but he didn't care. He could no longer bare any distance between them. "Harvey, please" he sobbed, begging. He brought their faces close together, face buried in Harvey's neck, lips right beside Harvey's ear. "Please, Harvey, Harvey, Harvey, Harvey" He pleaded and whined and sobbed. "Harveeeeeeey."

He lost himself, completely and utterly lost himself, in Harvey's warm, Harvey's presence, Harvey's pristine three-piece suit clinging to his sweat drenched body. He faintly recognized the rest of the world. He felt them moving, turning, rearranging but he did not care. He heard something shuffled, open, then snap somewhere in the distance. He wanted, he needed, he _yearned_ for Harvey to just touch him already in the way to make him explode like a nova star.

"Harvey" he whimpered. There was an exhale of breath then "Oh yes yes yes yes, Harvey. Harvey" He whispered his lover's name over and over again. "Harvey, Harvey , Harvey" was the only word he can say, the only one his remembered, the only one that mattered. "Harvey, shit, Harvey" he moaned when something warm and slippery nudged his tight hole. "Oh" he squeaked " _Oh Harvey_ "

One finger in.

"Come here" Harvey growled again and brought their lips together. Mikes legs were bent like a pretzel between them but their of them cared. The kiss was weak, an afterthought, but no less sweet. It was more of them moaning and breathing into each other's mouths than anything else. He worried over Mike's bottom lip while Mike tried to lick him, a desperate attempt to reciprocate. Even in the throes of pleasure, Mike instinctively sought out to pleasure him.

Two.

Two had them breathing unevenly if they weren't before. Two was fast paced and desperate. Two had Mike back down on the bed, staring up the ceiling with Harvey looming over him, legs wrapped rightly around Harvey's waist, naked erection rubbing deliciously over Harvey's suit, catching at the buttons which made him his. Two had him delirious at the overwhelming sensation of Harvey over him, around him, surrounding him. Two fingers had Mike gripping the back of Harvey's neck, tight with tension, mewling and spewing obscenities along with Harvey's name because he was too far gone to kiss properly.

Two finger inside Mike was a blessing in a curse, channel walls fluttered around him like butter but not nearly enough to take him yet. Two was sweet torture. Two had Harvey dripping in sweat, hair all over his face, as he grunted like an animal into Mike's mouth, hips thrusting into air. Two had him consumed in everything that was Micheal J. Ross, handsome and perfect beneath him, opening up like Harvey was his entire world, trusting Harvey with everything he had, staring up at Harvey with eyes will with devotion that it he could feel in thrumming down his veins, seeping into the skin where Mike held him at the nape.

Two wasn't enough so he pushed a third one in.

"Harvey, Harvey, Harvey!"

It was perfect. It was bliss.

Then Mike blurted out.

"Eat me"

Harvey froze mid-thrust.

"What did you say?"

Mike blushed from his neck down to his chest, embarrassment welled up in his gut, he blinked the hazy lust-filled eyes away. It was weird and awkward. His legs had fallen to the sides, mid-way from the bed to Harvey's waist, his biceps were starting to strain while he clung to Harvey's neck, his traitorous dick was hanging and leaking all over his bare stomach. His forgotten shirt hang loosely over his arm and crumpled down his back. "I---I---I said eat me" he confessed weakly. For his honestly, he got a quick peck on the lips and a wide grin from the older man.

"Okay" Harvey nodded. Then---

"Oh sweet baby jesus!" Mike yelled at the top of his lungs when Harvey pushed his tongue into Mike puffy red ring of muscles. Already lax from finger, Mike's hole fluttered open around Harvey's tongue. Mike could do nothing but keen with Harvey's name the only thing passing through his lips.

Harvey loved himself and his vanilla flavoured lube. He dived in tongue first and mouth second, lips pressed against Mike's pucker, relishing the sweet taste mingling with Mike's natural flavour. He moaned shamelessly into the flesh of Mike's ass, nose pressing into Mike's balls, and tried to swirl his tongue around the small opening. Mike's balls tightened up, encouraging Harvey to go deeper and so he did. He palmed Mike's cheeks and pried them apart, then he started to suck in earnest. The squelching sound echoed in the quiet room. Mess. Wet. Filthy.

"Harvey" Mike called to him in a broken voice. He glanced up and caught his breath. Mike looked completely debauched--flushed skin, parted lips, and _tears_ falling down on his face. "Harvey" he brokenly cried with his throat sounding raw. The _please_ was left unspoken. "Harvey" he repeated and reached out. They laced their fingers together.

Harvey moved up, licking the skin behind Mike's balls, to the side of the sacks, to Mike's shaft, and closed his mouth around the head, sucking lightly then pulling off. One hand clutched Mike's and the other teased at his hole. "You can come" he said, he commanded, he allowed. "You can come, sweetheart, anytime you want. When you're ready." He smiled up at Mike. It shouldn't have looked endearingly affectionate when he was doing it between Mike's legs but somehow Harvey managed to look loving and pornographic at the same time.

Mike made a happy noise, chocked back with his tears, and hummed. He spread his hands over Harvey's shoulders. He closed his eyes and let go. Pleasure, sensation, passion engulfed him from both ends. Harvey's fingers ramming up his ass and Harvey's mouth sucking his soul through his dick. Harvey, perfect Harvey, assaulted his prostate from both ends. And Mike, Mike was only human, he barely tugged on Harvey's hair as a warning then he came in long white spurts inside Harvey's mouth.

"Oh fuck" he cursed when he looked down. The sight of Harvey's lips stretched around his girth, accompanied by the feeling of Harvey's fingers still stroking him from the inside, made him come a second time, then a third, milking him in three consecutive ejaculations. Harvey didn't seem to mind the mess it made in his mouth and on his lips. On the contrary, smiling while he was sucking Mike lightly until the last drops of cum were cleaned off. "Harvey" he moaned and reached out. "That was"

Harvey pulled off, with a smile and a lazy hazy expression on his face.

"Hi" was all he said.

"Hi" Mike replied weakly then chuckled. "You were..." he was too fucked-out to finish but Harvey seemed to understand.

"As were you" came the reply. Slowly, Harvey guided Mike's legs back down the bed, helping the younger man stretch out the kinks from being bent like a pretzel for the past two hours. He kneaded Mike's sore muscles, kissing the smooth salty flesh, and licking at stray drops of cum. His last stop was Mike's face, letting his entire clothed body blanket over Mike's, kissing the column of Mike's throat then his ears then his cheeks. "You were amazing." he said, staring into Mike's teary eyes. "Utterly beautiful"

"Kiss me" Mike said, not caring it Harvey's mouth was filthy. The man tasted like sweat and lube and come and ass but it was wonderful. He licked into Harvey's mouth tasting every bit, every single thing that the other man had done to him, with him, tonight. He loved this man, god, he loved Harvey so much that it hurt. Having Harvey here, holding Harvey in his arms, it was the best Christmas present ever. He poured his heart and his soul into the kiss and Harvey seemed to answer lick per lick.

Harvey hummed into the kiss, basking in Mike's slow exploration of his body. He was so happy, so over the moon, so filled to the brim with the _feelings_ which Mike conveyed through a single kiss. He felt like his chest would burst at any minute. Mike, Mike, Mike was the only word which played inside his head. The single most important person in his life, the person he loved, the person he wanted to cherish for all his remaining days. So much lost time, so many things which he needed to fix between them.

"Merry Christmas" Mike's greeting came as a surprise.

It drew Harvey back from his reverie. He turned his head, glancing at the digital clock on his bedside table, and felt a bubble of joy surge from his chest. He laughed with a feeling of lightness that he has not felt in a long, long, long time. He was happy. Not the easy happy which came with winning a case, no, this happy struck the inner strings of his core and played melodic music from the deepest parts of his soul. It was a happiness that was made possible by Mike coming, staying, and being in his life.

"Merry Christmas, Mike." He kissed Mike again, chastely. "Stay the night?"

The look of shock then surprise then thankfulness threatened to break Harvey's heart. A cruel reminder of how much he had hurt Mike in the past. He would spend the rest of his life removing all that sorrow away. He would start today. He never wanted to see Mike like that. He never wanted to see the hurt in Mike's eyes.

"Stay the night" he confirmed to erase any other doubts that might have plagued inside Mike's head. He needed Mike to understand. There had been too much misunderstandings, too many missed chances, between them. It stopped today.

"Stay the night, here in my bed, where I will clean you up, undress and wrap my arms around you. Stay tomorrow for breakfast and I'll make you the best _goddamn_ bacon you've ever tasted. Stay with me for Christmas in the hotel and let me make love to you again and again and again until I make you realize that this isn't a trick, this isn't a joke, this isn't me having crisis or breakdown. Just, please, Mike, stay with me. Stay with me, just... let me show you how much you mean to me."

Mike was quiet. Blue eyes stared into his own, accessing, thinking, evaluating, absorbing Harvey's words. Harvey brought down his walls and let every single emotion show through his eyes---anger, regret, apologetic, love. But couldn't say it, not yet. He did not deserve to say it yet. But please, please, please, if there was a god, give him this chance to fix things with Mike, fix things between them, to let Mike know how deep his feelings went. Slowly, ever so carefully, the corner of Mike's lips lifted into a smile.

"Okay. I'll stay."

For Harvey, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniffs around* do I smell another chapter?


	6. Christmas Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry to all those waiting for "Yuletide Gatherings". RL has been tough lately and busy since it's Christmas. So I hope you'll take this as compensation instead~

"Mmm..." Harvey mumbled in his sleep. "Mike" he kept repeating over and over again. A part of him, the doubtful part, the hidden part, who believed last night had been a dream, did not want to wake up. He lulled between the realms of consciousness and unconsciousness, not fully awake but aware of his surroundings. He recognized the scent of softness of his pillow, the smoothness of his sheets, and the scent of his detergent. He was at home. He spread his arms out wide and met nothing but air. Immediately, emptiness filled him.

"Mike?" he called out hoarsely. Nothing came. "Mike?"

As more and more of his senses came online, he recognized the warmth under his finger tips and the second scent which mingled with his---Mike. He was vaguely aware of his own nakedness, spread like an eagle on his bed with nothing but thing cotton sheets above him, partially drawn fallen down his chest. The same cotton sheets were shuffling and the movement was mirrored by the dips of the bed. He wasn't alone.

"Ah!" he gasped when something wet and warm closed over the tip of his cock. "Ahh, Mike~" he whimpered, helpless as the early morning left him lethargic. All he could do is arch his back and spread his legs wider. Hands were working over his erection, one toying with his ball, slick with lube, while the other pumping his length. The mouth on him maintained the perfect pressure, just the way he liked it, hard but not painful. "Mike" he moaned, louder, hoarser, feeling the other change positions then "oh god your mouth!"

Mike's lips latched onto the very tip, _and sucked_ , making him feel it all the way down to his urethra. It was pleasure mixed with pain and, when it was nearly too much, he began thrusting his hips in wild abandon to escape the sensation. His knees trembled and his knees jerked. He was lost in the wave of pleasure that pulsed from his cock. He scrambled for something to touch, something to hold, and so his hands found the headboard while his lower regions were melted into jelly.

***

After their second, less extraneous, shower, Harvey left first to give Mike some privacy since _helping him get clean_ resulted in both of them getting dirtier. He was sluggish with the good kind of ache brought about by really good sex. It also gave him a boost in endorphins. He hadn't felt this light in a while. It was as if a large heavy burden was taken off his shoulders, one that he hadn't realized that he was carrying at all; it felt good. He strode to the walk-in closet and took his time to choose his clothes for the day.

When he came back out, Mike was already sitting on the bed wearing too-large bathrobe and was drying his hair with a towel. The robe parted over his chest and legs like the younger man hadn't even bothered to close it properly. Mike perked up at the sound of the sliding door and smiled shyly at him.

"I just realized that I haven't got any clothes here. Do you think that I can borrow some of your clothes?"

There was a burst of affection in Harvey's chest at the image it brought. He nodded and motioned for Mike to stand. "On here" he said, pointing to the walk-in, "I'm sure you can find something in your size. We're not so different in height but in width maybe."

"That's 'cause the older you get, the more fat you retain." Mike teased, tipping his head back for a quick kiss, and strode inside.

"You weren't complaining a few minutes ago" Harvey growled playfully and guided Mike inside with a hand over the younger man's ass.

"Cock tease"

He merely grinned. Seeing Mike inside his closet, inside his space, should not have made all these embarrassingly mushy feelings well-up in his chest but it did. He liked seeing Mike on his bed, in his robe, and, here, in his inner sanctum. It felt right. It felt like the missing piece that he'd been longing for all these years that made the condo feel, somewhat, empty. But Mike filled up that void without even trying. He watched in amusement as Mike browsed over his expansive selection of clothes. He smiled approvingly at the sight, allowing Mike the time to choose and experiment.

In the end, Mike choose a slightly loose button-down shirt and a pair of dark jeans that wouldn't look too awkward with this black leather shoes. He pouted at Harvey when he finished dressing.

"You look too dressed up for Christmas." he announced with a slightly whine in his voice. "You should change"  he said, while strutting into Harvey's personal space. He ran his finger over the button's of Harvey's waist coat, already unbuttoning it without waiting for permission, with his eyes challenging the older man to stop him. "If you change..." he whispered, right into Harvey's ear. "...I'll let you dress me up for dinner without a fuss. I promise."

Harvey growled, low and feral, with his hands cupping Mike through fabric of _his_ jeans, and the other man squeaked. "You drive a hard bargain, council. I will take it under advisement."

"Oh, I drive better." Mike said with confidence. "Because this offer expires in three... two... one--oomphf!" his lips were sealed with a kiss.

Needless to say, round three went underway.

***

Harvey ended up much less dressed than he had become accustomed to, in a black v-neck shirt, dark jeans, and heavy leather boots. It was reminiscent of his formers years when he wasn't too busy chasing skirts or courtroom deadlines. The change was well-welcomed. He felt like younger and livelier, like he wasn't about to be the sole name partner. Mike grinned like an idiot the entire time that he was getting dressed so Harvey figured that one say out of his suits was worth it.

They stopped by 7th Ave. to pick-up some clothes for Mike. Harvey reasoned that Brooklyn was too far away but, in reality, he really, really liked seeing Mike in clothes that he'd picked out from the store. He bought enough clothes for the weekend, and, optimistically, some more. While it would ultimately be Mike's decision whether or not to stay for the week, he wanted to have clothes to make the blond comfortable. They ended up with two armfuls of bags, most of which Harvey held with pride. While Mike lugged them around with an ever present blush on his cheeks.

"Harvey!" He complained at the seventh store they visited. "I thought this was supposed to be a _quick_ shopping trip for essentials? You bought me more clothes today than I've bought for myself in six months!" He complained in a low voice whine a sales lady eyed them, and their bags, with interest.

"That explains why your, erhm..." Harvey did not finish. "...why you could use a wardrobe upgrade. Be thankful I'm just bringing you shopping or would you rather have me call Rene for another suit fitting on _Christmas_ " he warned lightly but it came out teasing more than anything. Still, it created the intended result and Mike obediently stomped further into the store. It was another three bags later that Harvey declared their mission to revive Mike's tragic wardrobe a success.

By then, it was lunch. Harvey muscled his way into a fully-booked restaurant with a smile, a wink, and a their friend Benjamin Franklin. Mike had expected some fancy high-end steak house but Harvey surprised him by leading them into a busy burger joint near Broadway. The waitress was way too nice and positively flirting with Harvey the entire time that they were led to their seats. Mike couldn't resist the jealous which constricted his chest. They were tucked into a nice cosy alcove not far from the large windows.

"Here you are, boys, best seat that we have." She said, winking.

"Thank you" Harvey replied with a nod. He kissed Mike on the cheek as they slid into the booth. "We really appreciate it, Missy."

Mike's eyes widened comically at both Harvey's gesture _and_ at the disappointed look on Missy's face. Harvey was sitting beside him, menu in hand, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"I think I'll have the Big Brother Special" Harvey mused with a grin. "What'll you have?"

"Harvey" Mike gaped. "What just happened?... How did you even know this place?"

Harvey made a non-committal hum. "I do, occasionally, get updated about the best burger new restaurants in Manhattan."

"And by that, you mean, it came from Donna, right?" Mike jested with an eye roll. If either Donna or Rachel recommended this place, then it was worth fighting through the foot-traffic of the Fashion District. The menu was simple with a mix of pre-made and make-your-own burgers. Feeling adventurous, he decided to create his own burger, which he recited when their male server came.

Harvey gave him a disgusted face. _Really_ was left unsaid. Mike just stuck out his tongue and grinned. It turned out that he had bad instinct when he came to burger combinations.

"Aww man, this sucks!" He declared and made a face as the taste assaulted his mouth. It made the older man laugh at him with blatant judgement. "I don't understand. I put everything that I liked on the burger. It's supposed to taste awesome but it doesn't."

"You're supposed to balance out the tastes." Harvey explained with  a warm chuckle. "Here" he motioned for Mike to surrender the failed attempt at a burger masterpiece which the other gave away without much protest. "Trade with me. It's nothing fancy just a BLT but I might be better than your monstrosity." He switched their plates and pushed his burger to Mike without a fuss.

"But Harvey..." Mike's protest died when he received _the look_. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that. It's just a burger."

"I know" Harvey mused while disassembling Mike's creation layer by layer. "It's fine. I know my way around a burger and how it's supposed to go." He proceeded to re-assembling it, removing some items to the side and adding copious amounts of ketchup. It couldn't fit it on a fork by the time he was finished. So, sleeves folded, he scooped it up with his hands and bit messily, red leaked out the corners of his lip.

"Here" Mike offered, thumbing the smidge without thinking, and licking it. "You got ketchup on your face."

Harvey made a happy noise of approval but said nothing. He continued to eat his (Mike's) burger with practiced ease, his face only slipping once when he bit into a hidden red onion. It was cute in a childish-schoolyard kind of way that Mike never expected from the older man. He couldn't help but smiling as he dug into his (Harvey's) BLT with gusto.

"How do you do that?" He asked when he was less hungry and curiosity had risen again. "You're Harvey Specter. You don't eat what you don't like. Even Jessica couldn't make you eat her pig's blood thing from the Filipino restaurant during the Senior Partner's meeting!"

Harvey cringed at that memory.

"You remember by brother, Marcus, right?"

"Yeah. He opened a restaurant with his wife down at... oh!" Mike's eyes shot up when his brain finally caught up with his mouth. "He made you his guinea pig, didn't he? How the hell did he manage to do that?!"

Harvey laughed out loud, head shaking. "He didn't. It was actually his wife, Linda. You've never met her yet, have you? I don't recall her ever coming to the firm. She... she doesn't really like law enforcement much." He made a face like he was holding back something. "It's kind of a long family history lesson. I'll tell you but this isn't really the place to talk about it."

Mike nodded with understanding. The mere fact that Harvey would be willing to open up something about his family was enough to make butterflies flutter inside his stomach. "That sound fair. How about we pay the bill and get to the hotel? You _have_ been boasting about since yesterday. I haven't even been to the new Hoyt-Walsh venture! I was stuck with Louis on a case during the site visit!"

"Well..." Harvey teased playfully then chuckled. "Serves you right. You did ask to get assigned on your own individual cases."

Surprisingly, it was Mike who footed the bill. He excused himself to go to the comfort room and paid for the bill on the way back to his table. Harvey was surprised when he pulled the older man to stand and led him out of the restaurant, explaining only when they were safely a block away.

***

The penthouse suite was designed filled with Japanese influences, opening up to a wide foyer which led directly to the large ceiling to floor glass window which displayed an honest-to-god Bonzai garden in the middle, and beside it were the dining area and fully functioning kitchen. There was a fireplace and a wet bar beside open-layout living room. Everything was in shades of pale white, creams, and gold.

"Harvey, this is amazing!" Mike exclaimed. He flopped onto the ouch without second thoughts, bringing his shopping bags flying with him. He nearly was swallowed up by the fluffiness of the cushions. Dropping the bags, he languidly stretched to his full height, seemingly melting like liquid.

"Harvey, come on, you've got to try this with me~" he said with child-like glee. "This is the fluffiest sofa ever!"

Harvey laughed, tossed him one of the throw pillows from the single-settee ottoman, and brought the bags into, what Mike presumed was, the bedroom. He came out seconds later and man-tackled Mike while the other was unguarded, letting out a high-pitched shriek in surprise. They tumbled all over the spacious cream-coloured couch for a few minutes until Harvey's phone began to ring.

"Seriously?" Mike noted with a big of disappointment as they parted. They sat up. "I guess that's what it means when you're the only name partners now, huh?"

"It's not work." Harvey corrected. "It's an alarm reminding me to call my sister." he said, already going through the motions of searching for her name on the contacts list and dialling. "She lives in Memphis with her husband Keith and their two children... Well, technically three now, if I'm not mistaken. She was supposed to give birth yesterday. Or it could have been early this morning. I needed to wait until it wasn't too early to call her." And right on cue, the person on the line picked up.He readjusted his seat so that his back was on the couch and gestured for Mike to sit beside him. The blond, reluctant at first, eventually leaned into Harvey's side.  

"Hello to you too, Keith, Merry Christmas" Harvey greeted in a warm friendly tone that Mike vaguely recognized. It was the tone Harvey used on special people in his life---his siblings, Donna, Jessica, Zoe, Scottie, and--- _him_. Mike pulled on Harvey's arm and wrapped it around his shoulder, getting comfortable, and perfectly contented with staying where he was.

"That's wonderful news! Congratulations!... Yes, please." Harvey continued to talk over his head. It sounded like he was talking to his sister's kids, a boy and a girl if his hearing was correct, discussing something about their new baby brother. "Okay Mattie, would you give please phone to mommy now? Uncle Harvey would like to talk to her." Harvey hummed, absentmindedly running fingers into Mike's hair, making him curl closer to the older man's side, then kissed the top of his forehead before speaking again.

"Hey, sis, heard you have a new monster in the house." Harvey chuckled. Mike tried to listen in, as best he could, but gave up. Harvey's new phone made it impossible to eavesdrop. Seemingly sensing his unease, the other man held up a hand and placed the phone on speaker, effectively bringing Mike into the conversation.

"-- _very_ , _his name is Regie, Reginald Summerfield. I named him after you._ "

"Oh did you? And why would you do that?" he chuckled.

" _I figured that you needed some motivation to show up here once in a while. Or to family gatherings. The kids miss you, you know."_

"Excuse me? I do dote on your little monsters when I'm _"_ there." he sighed.

" _They've been complaining that they never see Uncle Harvey lately. Speaking of, since Marcus and his family are in Italy... you didn't spend Christmas alone did you? *a gasp* ... Or worse with"_ she lowered her voice into a whisper _"spend it with hookers and cheap blonde bimbos in a fancy-shmancy hotel room, did you?"_

Mike just had to grin at that one because it was so close to home while Harvey cringed.

"No, I didn't. "

_"Good. Then you better show up here soon to visit while this little guy is still little. The Christening is going to be in March. If you're not, I'll disown you as my big brother."_

"Yes, I know. I'll make it to the one even if I have to drag Marcus and Linda and Mike there myself."

There was a long pause on the other line.

 _"Mike? Your associate, right? The one you didn't want to make a move one because of all your professionalism bull---seye."_ A male laugh echoed in the back ground. _"That Mike, right? Oh my god. Did you spend Christmas alone for real?! Are you high again or are just really drunk? Because last time I checked you were still pining like a fourteen year old girl over Justine Bieber during his twink-days."_

Harvey blushed crimson. "Yes, you heard me right! No, I'm not delusional nor am I spending Christmas alone."

Sophie made an honest-to-the-heaven fan-girl scream over the phone. _"Oh my god. Oh my god! Harvey! Oh my god!"_ a long pause then " _Oh my god. He's there isn't he? I bet he's listening right now. Hi! Hi, Mike! Harvey, let me talk to him!"_

There was a longer, more frustrated sigh from Harvey. He was already rubbing his temples from the on-set of a headache. "What are we twelve? Sophia, give me a break..."

" _Harvey_ Reginald _Specter. I named my third born after you this morning. You can at least let me talk to the person you're spending Christmas with_.."

"Okay, fine." He gave Mike an apologetic look and said. "My sister wants to talk to you."

Mike was caught between the deer-in-headlights look and rejoicing because _Harvey's sister_ wanted to talk to him. She wasn't even man that her older brother was dating a guy. Let alone, a guy that she clearly had known about for some time. He smiled weakly and took the phone. "I heard" he covered the mic-piece "What do I tell her?"

Harvey shrugged and grinned. "Don't worry, she'll lead you." he replied, kissing Mike on the forehead.

"H--hello?" Mike said over the receiver.

_"OH MY GOD YOU'RE REAL!"_

He was thankful for the speaker. Otherwise, he was a hundred and one percent sure that her scream would have busted his eardrum. "Uhm, yes?"

 _"Harvey, I know you're listening. Get up, get out, I want to talk to Mike alone."_ Another pause suggested that she was waiting but Harvey didn't move. " _Jesus, Harvey! I know you're there. Stop pretending that you aren't. I repeat. Butt off where-ever you are so I can interrogate your new boyfriend with all the juicy raunchy details of your relationship"_ In the background, a chastising male voice can be heard saying _"Sophie!_ "

With a sigh and an eye roll, Harvey begrudgingly stood up. "I'll go make us some cocoa." He said, once more, kissing Mike on the forehead. He'd been doing it more since yesterday night, being more and more affectionate, and Mike felt like he was being drowned with so much affection that his heart might spontaneously combust.

"Okay. Can you make mine with marshmallows?"

"As you wish"

_"Okay, Mike. I'm Sophie, the prodigal sister who moved to Memphis. Now that we're no longer strangers, you're going to tell me everything."_

Mike gulped.

***

It took Harvey fifteen minutes to make the cocoa and another five minutes to clean-up the kitchen. When he came back to the living room, Mike was just saying his final goodbyes to Sophie on the phone. He was smiling and laughing, seemingly warmed up to her, and they were talking like they've been friends for ages instead of just a few minutes. Mike glanced up at Harvey with his face positively beaming with joy. He disconnected the call with a big smile.

"Did you have a good talk?" Harvey asked, trading Mike the cup of cocoa for his phone, with a smile. "Not too much about me, I hope."

Mike chuckled. "No, not all you. I told her about my family and she shared a bit about yours." Then he suddenly stopped, biting his lip, a worried expression dampening his features. "...and about your mom. It's none of my business, really, but you wanted to know and she... she mentioned it. That you haven't seen her in years. I'm sorry."

"Sophie's always been the nosy one." Harvey collapsed on the sofa with a heavy sigh. "It's fine. It wasn't your fault. Can we, maybe, save that conversation for another time? I'll trade you the story about Marcus instead. Deal?"

Mike bounced at the opportunity. "Okay. Tell me first why you couldn't do it in the restaurant or why Linda, your brother' wife's name is Linda, right... ? Why hasn't she dropped-by the office? I've met Marcus once or twice. He's rarely comes to visit you too."

"We normally just grab a few drinks to unwind. He's been busy with his new venture. Recently, we've been sticking to him-feeding-me-experimental-recipes and me trying not to get food poisoning the following day. I met with him almost every day a couple of months early this year when he was beginning."

"Ah-hum... that still doesn't explain why the skittishness with the firm though or the restaurant thing this afternoon." This may be the first time that Mike saw Harvey looking anxious.

"Melinda's maiden name is De Medici." Harvey said carefully as if he was threading on ice water. "Does that ring any bells to you?" Mike shook his head. "Melinda's father is Antonio De Medici. He's the current head of the De Medeci Family. One of the known Italian-American mafia families. In short, she's basically a mafia princess. Their money is clean though. Santino's? Do you know it? Little mom-and-pop Italian place over at the Finance District? It's theirs, as part of the efforts to legitimize their businesses in the 1940's by her father. Marcus and Linda run it now."

"Oh" Mike said as his brain digested the information. "Oh! So that's why they don't like the office." he paused in thought. Harvey suspected that he was firing at all cylinders inside his big brain. "Does that mean that we get discounts when we eat there? Their cannolis are mind-blowing!" He took a sip of the slightly cooled cocoa and moaned over the rim "This is pretty awesome too."

Harvey laughed out loud. "Be sure to tell that to her when you meet. We're meeting up on 30th. The family is flying back from Italy. It's kind of their tradition to join the countdown in Time Square. Something about Linda never experiencing it when she was younger. They take their son every year. His name is Dillan. He just turned ten."

"We're meeting them?" Mike paused and asked. "You and me?"

Harvey froze as if he hadn't meant to say it. But it was too late, he couldn't take back his words. "You're invited. I'm inviting you. I'd really like you to go, come with me, to meet them. Only if you want to, of course. I wouldn't hold it against you if you don't want to go..." he sounded utterly dejected when he trailed off.

Mike placed his mug on the coffee table and then took away Harvey's as well. He swung one leg over Harvey's lap and straddled the older man. "Well" he purred, voice lowering an octave, and ran a finger from the side of Harvey's face down to his clean-shaven jaw. "Since you're meeting my family today, I suppose it's fair that I meet yours too." His smile was blindingly bright as he pulled Harvey into a kiss.

***

They passed by a flower shop on their way to the commentary. Harvey followed Mike quietly while they made their way to the graves. He recalled it, vaguely, from the dreams with a gut-wrenching curl in his stomach. He remembered that day, that fake Christmas day that he would never allow to happen, with inner bitterness. That was the day Mike had met Jhonny or, at the least, was supposed to meet Jhonny. Ever since he woke up back in the office yesterday, he has been seeing echoes of his dreams with altered endings. He was hoping that the Jhonny-thing would have an alternative ending too.

"Here we are" Mike announced, looking somewhere between shy and anxious when he presented the three small slabs of stone. "My mother, my father, and Grammy."

"And your grandfather? Why isn't he buried with them?" Harvey asked before he could stop himself. He quickly bit his lip at his own frankness. Being with Mike, it was just so easy to be open without having to restrain his naturally curious nature.

Mike's smile was faint but genuine. "Wow" he breathed out "No one had asked me about grandpa Gary in years!" He laughed. "Grandpa was a fighter jet pilot in the Vietnam war. His plane was shot down somewhere over the Pacific. Like many of the pilots, they never recovered his body..." he paused and looked Harvey in the eye. "Thank you. It's been a while and I nearly forgot about him."

"So, it this what you do?" Harvey wondered out loud, moving closer to the younger man, and handing over the flowers. "Tell me, Mike, is this how you spend Christmas every year since Edith passed? I know that you visit them every year. No other relatives in New York? Uncles? Aunts? Cousins?"

Mike shook his head. "No. My father and I were only the only child in our own generation. Grammy just found out the news about Dad when Grandpa Gary was sent overseas. They never met." He explained with a rueful expression. "That's why she toughed up. She even called you a hard-ass to your face! Oh jesus, that was so embarrassing!" He buried his face in his black gloves.

"I remember that" Harvey bemused with a chuckle. "Your Grammy was a force to reckoned with, I wholly agree. There's no surprise that you inherited some of that spunk." He  chortled. "And your mom?"

"Mom isn't a native New Yorker. She came all the way from the West Coast to study in Cambridge where she eventually met my dad. She has family in Texas. She was your regular farm girl princess who fell in-love with a city boy. She was also kinda... " Mike scrunched up his face. "...rich. They didn't like that she married, erhm, beneath her stature so she was disowned. I remember Grammy calling them about the accident and she was yelled at on the phone and accused of being a scammer. We lost all touch since them. I never bothered to reconnect with them."

"Mike" was all Harvey said before encircling his arms around his lover. "You're never going to be alone." He promised, He tightened his hold and kissed Mike on the forehead. "Never again. I'm here. You don't need them. You don't need any of them. You've got that big brain of yours, Junior Partnership in the bag, and me. I will never leave you alone again."

 _I promise,_ Harvey repeated in his head as if he was speaking to them. _This time, I will never let him be alone again--never again. I will be by his side as long as he will have me. I love him._

Mike hiccupped but he did not cry. He clung onto Harvey with every bit and fibre in his being until the tremors stopped and he could breathe again. "Thank you" He whispered into the cold cotton fabric of Harvey's winter coat. He held on, unwilling to party with Harvey's warmth or leave the cradle of Harvey's arm. It crushed the flowers between their bodies but he did not care. It's been a long, long time since he felt safe, since he felt like he was home. If he had a choice he would stay forever.

They stayed like that for a very long time until the sky grew pale and orange dusted the edges of the horizon.

***

Mike grinned to himself. Dressed down, out of his three-piece suits of armour, Harvey appeared more youthful. He walked with the same confident stride as he always did but it was loose without the weight of the entire firm hanging off his neck like a reverse noose. He also welcomed the changes which the new outfit brought; Harvey was willing to go to placed were he normally wouldn't dare while in Rene's creations.

Christmas lights were alive and dancing by the time they went out for dinner. Wanting to avoid any confrontation with Jhonny just like in his dreams, Harvey avoided the Pier area and led them into the backstreets of the Financial District. It still bustled with life, row after row of buildings were lined up with small food businesses with the old retractable tarpaulin roofs hanging over the outside seating. Most of the outsides were empty but, from the window, the insides looked ready to burst.

"Remind me, where are we going again?" Mike asked as they walked the street side-by-side, arms looped. "I thought you were buying me dinner, Harvey~" he teased, daring to press his nose on the side of Harvey's face. The older man hummed and pressed back at the contact.

"I am taking you to dinner" Harvey assured without breaking stride. He turned and quirked an eyebrow at Mike. "Are you _judging_ the neighbourhood?"

Mike lifted his shoulders twice. Harvey rolled his eyes and playfully punches him on the stomach. It wasn't hard and felt more like a half-attempt at tickling rather than actually punching. Nonetheless, Mike burst into a fit of laughter while trying to evade Harvey's hands.

"I.am.not!" Mike protested in-between bouts. "Just..." Then he burst out laughing again.

"Ahh!" Harvey's eyes lit up. "Good! It's still here!" He said with cheer. "Come on, it looks like they're not that busy yet. It must still be early for their rush hour." Mike sceptically eyed the place. It was a place tucked between two buildings, small and old, with a big neon signs that declared 'Marko's Creamery' in the middle of the big window.

"Harvey..." He called out in confusion. "I thought we were having dinner... Not, uhm, dessert?"

Harvey just grinned and took him by the hand. "This is dinner. You'll see." He assured and brought them inside. The interior was just as simple as the exterior, warmly lit and yellow-wood benches and stools and... steak. Mike blinked. It had to be one of the biggest juiciest steaks he'd ever seen in his life, accompanied by the spicy-salty scent of their steak rub and an assortment of sauces.

"Oh wow" He breathed out. "That look... delicious." He said in awe.

They got two tables near the back beside the large wall which proudly displayed the restaurant's name and ordered two of the specialty streaks with different sauces and side dishes. Their waitress smiled and winked when she served them with glasses of water. There were several patrons inside but a few tables remained unoccupied, alternating between people who were eating ice cream and those with entrees. Soft Christmas music played in the background but it was mostly conversations which filled the air.

"Do you like it?" Harvey spoke with a weird tone to his voice. He sounded... worried, concerned, unsure?

"I do" Mike beamed, nodding. "It's unique. I've passed this place several times when working with Sidwell but I never thought to go inside. Heh. I mean, I thought to myself, _what kinda lawyer had time for ice cream_? And I never had enough free time just to go back."

"Yeah" Harvey nodded easily. "Being a lawyer kind of does that." He chuckled.

"How did you find this place?" Mike asked. "I doubt this is a Donna-thing. Too much red-meat."

Harvey laughed out loud. "I found it when I was still working for the DA. Tough day, long night. I was craving something sweet. But when I got inside and smelled the food, I was besotted. Then, PH and all the other things that came with it and I've rarely had a chance to come back. I told Donna about this place. It's where she gets her secret stash of Ice Cream but she's never tried the food. Hopefully, the food won't be a disappointment."

"I hope not" Mike agreed, eyes widened as they were served. "Because this look like it could be in a magazine. It'll be a shame if the taste doesn't step-up to the expectation." He cut into the steak, hints of its juices squirted out, and took a bite. "Hmmm" He moaned around his fork with eyes closed. "Oh god. This is the best thing I've eaten this month."

Harvey raised his eyebrow. "This month?" He said with challenge.

Mike shrugged lightly. "Rachel to me to this really good Spanish place the other day. The paella could face up to this."

"Try it with the sauce" Harvey pressed, pushing the small shot glass filled with buttery dark brown sauce in Mike's direction. "It'll be unfair to judge without their crowing glory. Go on."

"You're awfully defensive about this." Mike said, laughing, but did so anyway. "Oh sweet jesus. You're right. I fold. I completely fold. The Spanish place and their million-ingredient paella can't compare to this." He closed his eyes as he savoured the sweet, salty, and spicy tastes which were lighting up fireworks on his tongue. "This is amazing. Too amazing. You're the best Harvey."

Harvey laughed and started digging into his own food.

"Double-scoop of your Madagascar, please" A familiar voice spoke in the background. Harvey froze. He recognized that voice. It was one that he never wanted to hear ever again. He glanced to the side and saw Jhonny buying ice cream at the counter, alone.

"Harvey?" Mike was quick to notice the change in his posture. "Harvey? Is something wrong? You look like you've seen ghost." Harvey's fingers were clenched rightly around his knife and fork while he sent daggers in the man's direction. Mike followed his lover's gaze and frowned. "Who is he? Ex? Client?" but when Harvey still wouldn't answer, he put his utensils down, grabbed Harvey's in his hands, leaned across the table and kissed with utmost possessiveness.

"Look at me, damnit." He growled. "Me and only me. Remember?" He pressed their forehead together, cupping the side of Harvey's face like a horse with a blinds. He stared into Harvey's warm brown eyes. "You promised me. You promised last night that it will only be me. So don't look at anyone else. I'm here in front of you. I'm real. Just me." He whispered, softening in tone. "Love me."

"I do" Harvey confessed as easy as breathing. His brain still in memory-shock. "I do love  you, Mike. I love you so much that it hurts when I remember every single time I hurt you... when I think that I almost lost you because I was a self-centred asshole who was afraid to acknowledge how I felt about you... We nearly didn't have _this_ and I..."

"But we do" Mike affirmed. "You didn't lose me, Harvey. You were right on time... Last night... last night I was going to ask you out for dinner and, if you had rejected me, I decided that it was time to move on. Years and years of loving you. I got hints but no follow through. It was almost as if you pulled away whenever the walls around your heart started to crumble. You'd push me away and rebuild them again. Harvey, I... I was growing so tired to it."

"Mike, I'm sorry" Harvey said with a desperation he's only heard a couple of times. "I'm so sorry."

Mike smiled affectionately. "But you surprised me. You took me home. We made love. Then you gave me the most wonderful Christmas I've had in years. I don't know what happened or what urged you to change your mind about love... but you did. You chose this. You chose us." then he choked on his last words. "You chose to love me."

"Thank you" Harvey whispered into Mike's lips. "Thank you for loving me when it was just me."

But Mike shook his head. "I would love you _despite_ of you just being you. Even your faults. Goddamn, Harvey. You don't have to be perfect every single time."

That was at it, Harvey snapped. He grabbed Mike by the back of the head and hauled the younger man for a kiss, an awkward over the table kiss where the wood dug onto their stomach, and the collective gasp of the restaurant's patrons rung in their ears. He didn't care--if any one saw him, if anyone took photos, if anyone dared to think that two men loving each other was wrong and dirty. All he cared for, all he loved, was standing here in front of him.

"Merry Christmas, Mike."

"Merry Christmas, Harvey."

It truly was a very merry Christmas. Their first of many more to come.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my small thank you to fandom and the fans and the readers who have welcomed me into the wonderful world that is "Suits (TV)" and "Marvey". This goes out to all of you. I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> If you feel like sending more prompts or requests, you can [ INSPIRE ME](http://arh581958.tumblr.com/submit) on tumblr! 
> 
> As always, kudos/comments are well appreciated. Hope you guys are feeling generous as well this Christmas Season~ Ho ho ho~


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